On January 6th, 2010 Alex suffered a gunshot wound to the head...given 3 HOURS TO LIVE ....this is our story of survival and how God continues to work in and through our lives!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


You all know that I have insisted on focusing on Alex and his recovery from day one and not to focus on the case.  Today I will share the outcome and be done with this part of our journey and put it behind us.  After meeting with the state attorney's office on Monday and again Tuesday....Today we accepted a plea bargain that was presented to us from the defense.  No amount of time can ever give my family back what has been lost but I had to do what was in the best interest of Alex and not put him through any more trauma such as a trial.  The two days of discussion with State Attorney put him in a tailspin and threw a wrench in his world as he knows it.  Anything out of the norm or repetition makes his world come crumbling down and he becomes a whole different kid! Just talk of the trial made him very anxious and I couldn't imagine putting him through a trial.  Kenny Ray was sentenced to 15 years and must serve a minimum of 14 years 3 months, minus time he has already served. However,  Alex has to live this hell for the rest of his life. For Kenny's parents, I am truly sorry..... for they are losing their son today because of a rash and horrible decision that he made.   I am glad to finally put this to rest and have some closure so that ALL parties involved can begin the healing process.  God has had my back and I will continue to lean on him as we still have a very long road ahead of us.    As much as I thought it would be hard to have Alex face him on this long awaited day.... it was a hundred times harder and emotional than I ever thought.  I needed to hear him say he was pleading guilty because he IS guilty.... in order to get some closure. Being all that we have gone thru and as much pain as we have endured.... as a mother... I truly feel sorry for all parties involved.  I can't explain it... I thought I would have much more anger running through me once I saw him today as I wheeled Alex in court in his wheelchair. God has a funny way of doing things and I feel as if he laid his hands on me today and brought a peace over me that I have long been waiting for. Seeing his parents and the pain this has caused on their end..... truly hurts my heart.  I can't imagine what I would do if I were in their shoes....as I'm sure they can't fathom what they would do if put in my shoes.  You can't possibly understand it.... unless you live it .... everyday! I pray that no mother or father has to endure what either of us have been put thru as parents.  I was very proud of Alex and the way he handled himself in court.   Alex and I were both allowed to address the court and say something to Kenny Ray, of which Alex was able to come up with by himself and I couldn't be prouder of him.   If I were Alex, I can't say that I would have conducted myself as he has throughout this whole journey.  


My life will never be the same because of what you did.  I know we got into a fight the week before this happened, but I don’t understand why you did this to me.  No friend of mine would point a loaded gun at my head and pull the trigger.  I live in fear and am always looking over my shoulder thinking you’re going to send someone to finish the job. 
No punishment you get will ever make this okay.  Every day for the rest of my life I am going to be punished because of what you did.  I might not have been the best kid in the world, but I didn’t deserve this.  You took away my childhood, dreams of playing baseball in college, basketball with my friends, driving… everything I loved.  You took away my independence.  You may be stuck in a jail cell for a portion of time, but I may be stuck in this chair for the rest of my life.  I have to depend on my family for everything from getting dressed to going to the bathroom– do you have any idea how degrading that is? 
Not only did you change my life, but you also changed the lives of my family and yours.  My heart goes out to your mom and dad, because they didn’t deserve this either.  I pray that God gives me the strength to forgive you one day.


You forever changed our lives on January 6, 2010 by a choice that you made.  I have been mourning and grieving the loss of the Alex that we all knew and loved since that date and have had to come to terms with the fact that he will never be the same.  The Alex that I knew and loved passed away on that fateful night.  Yes Alex survived… he is a miracle of God, but you took so many things away from Alex that he will never be able to get back.  Most of all… you took away his dignity and independence.  While you have been sitting in a cell,   Alex had to learn everything all over again… how to talk, eat, chew, feed himself, write, read, and still fights hard everyday to regain use of his left arm and be able to walk on his own.  As of now he will never be able to drive again because his vision has been severely impaired.  He has a trach in his throat so that he is able to breath and we don’t know that it will ever be able to come out because of all the complications we keep having.  He has nightmares of lying in a pool of blood and is fearful to be in a room by himself.  My Alex will never be the same person he was prior to January 6th.  As a mother of 3 boys, I know that kids make hasty rash decisions without thinking of the consequences that may follow.  My heart goes out to your parents as I know this is not a reflection of their parenting but a poor decision on your part.  I hope that you accept full responsibility for your actions and have learned that there are consequences for such actions.  You and only you pulled the trigger.  What happened to Alex is not his fault, yet he is the one who will ultimately pay the price.  You are getting a sentence….. being confined to a wheelchair… may be Alex’s life sentence.  I pray that we can all find closure and move on with our lives without having to look back.  No amount of time you serve can ever give our family back what we have lost.  One day I will be able to forgive you …. As a Christian, this I am sure of.  Until then, I pray that everyone involved finds peace and comfort knowing that God performed a miracle that night allowing Alex to still be here with us.

Alex is my HERO... today, tomorrow and always!  Thank you God for your miracle in sparing the life of my handsome boy.... The future is yours and the sky is the limit!!  You are the only judge and jury that matters to me..... obviously your actions by sparing Alex's life speaks volume in my eyes.  Today we put the past behind us and move forward in superman speed recovery.  We have one more hurdle to get past.... the dang trach, lol!  August 19th we go and hopefully can lay that thing to rest as well!  Please continue to pray for us... Alex has a long road of a full recovery ahead of him and with your prayers and God by our side... ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE... even praying for a full recovery with vision so that he may drive some day! To all of those people out there that continue to focus on the negatives and trash talk.... until you have walked one day in MY SON or MY shoes.... you should keep your mouth shut because you speak ignorantly.  

Matthew 7:1-2“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you ." 

 You do not know all of the facts and may never for all I care.... NOONE DESERVES WHAT MY SON HAS BEEN PUT THRU... NOONE!  Today we get closure and again... put the past behind us.  What's done is done and nothing can get my son back to the way he was.  I will continue to focus on the positives in my life and God knows how very very thankful I am to be pushing Alex around in a wheelchair because that means he is ALIVE.  I will deal with the obstacles that arise with a smile on my face and joy in my heart!  I may get aggravated at times... I am only human, but I do know how VERY lucky I am to have Alex with me here today and will never take advantage of that fact.  To all of you who have supported us from day one... thank you.  You have been our prayer warriors and angels from afar and I couldn't have done it without all of your love and continued support.  I will continue to blog about Alex's recovery as it is medicine for my soul to get it all out .... the good, the bad and the ugly, lol!  Alex still gives me lots of laughs on a daily basis.... thank you God for allowing some of that wit to remain.  Over the next week I plan to do a photo blog from beginning to where we are today.... it is one thing to read it... another to see it.  Those that have had the pleasure of meeting Alex out in public are always amazed and just in awe of how great he looks and what a remarkable young man he is.  I hope you all get the pleasure of meeting Alex... I am still planning some type of homecoming party at some point for all those supporters who can't wait to meet him.  He will surely bring a smile to your face just by seeing him or by saying something witty or off the wall he will say..... we still have NO FILTER, lol!

Best part of my day today.... we go to get gas at the shell station... me, kristen, Aaron, Brooks and Alex.  We go thru carwash....they are all involved on the iphone and you tube... as the dryer comes to dry the car.... I roll the back windows down and scared the crap out of them... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... I'm talking gut wrenching laughter as they all grabbed their heads and ducked with the most freaked out looks and yells.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... still laughing to myself!  I used to do it when the boys were younger... however I would prepare them before doing it and we would all crack up... this time... MOM PLAYED THE PRANK AND WON!  Highlight of my day!  You should try it sometime on your kids, lol!  Sure to get a smile and laugh for sure! hee hee!  Alex wants me to tell you all " That shit's not funny",( sorry no filter, lol).... BUT I SAY IT IS, HA!

Stay tuned for progress.... praying God continues to heal my precious boy from head to toe with a full recovery.  We know that we are on his time and this is part of his big plan for us and we are ready to face whatever challenges come our way!  As always... ME, ALEX... MY FAMILY & JC.... WE DEFINITELY GOT THIS!