On January 6th, 2010 Alex suffered a gunshot wound to the head...given 3 HOURS TO LIVE ....this is our story of survival and how God continues to work in and through our lives!

Friday, November 26, 2010


Sorry I haven't been on in awhile to update you on Alex..... he had a stomach virus last week so we didn't have therapy as you can only imagine I wasn't about to attempt a drive to therapy and chance another poop session in my car, lol!  I have lots to tell you when we get back... we are still in NJ and won't be back until Tuesday night late. We did make a trip into NYC and it was spectacular and we had an awesome time!  We are soaking up as much family time as we can while here so I won't be getting on and blogging until we get back.  I received a couple of emails hoping everything was ok as I haven't been on in awhile.  Just lots going on with the holiday... packing and getting ready to come here and then once here.... going ....going.... going.... fitting everything we can into our week of touring the city and sight seeing.  Today we are taking Brooks to Chelsea Piers, a huge sports complex in NYC....he wants to shoot some hoops and practice as basketball tryouts at school are next week when we get back and he wants to be primed :0)

Hoping you all had a wonderful thanksgiving as we surely did!  THANKFUL FOR MANY THINGS THIS THANKSGIVING......most of all that Alex was here to share it with us!  I will leave you with the words spoken from Alex as he blessed the food for us on thanksgiving day:

"Dear 8lb 6oz baby Jesus...." as we all giggled.... "Thank you for Logan, Madison, Aunt Randi, Aunt Kristen, Auntie I I, Uncle Moron, socks, biscuits, thank you for bums.......the people who build houses and the gravy in front of me, AMEN!"

Yes you see....those closest to him that shower him and take him to the bathroom and dress him.... don't matter so much, lol.... I told him next time he needed to go to the bathroom, he needs to call his Aunts to come and take care of him on the toilet, lol! 

Very thankful this year..... God is Awesome and we are so thankful for our second chance at LIFE and our wonderful friends and family!  THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONTINUED LOVE AND SUPPORT..... GOD BLESS YOU!  XOXO

I'll have lots to tell next week with lots of pictures!!


Wednesday, November 17, 2010


ALEX had a great day at therapy today!  He walked on the treadmill, walked around the building and learned to get on his knees and balance today... that was a task for sure!  See videos below:

The first video is of Alex cutting up before therapy began... He's still got it!

This is video of Alex getting on his knees:

So we leave therapy and are on the road about 5:00pm.... RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC.  We get on I-10 about 20 minutes into the ride and Alex says... "Mom, get off quick I gotta POOP!"..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH are you freaking kidding me???!!  "RIGHT NOW?  YOU CAN'T HOLD IT 5  MINUTES?"..... "OMG...No Mom I feel it coming out now!"... "Alex... it doesn't sneak up on you like that outta no where... you gotta let me know ahead of time"... "I'm telling you NOW... get off and find a bathroom".... WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST???  I am in the fast lane.... traffic is poking along... trying to get over... don't want to get off on McDuff trying to get him to hold it till Cassat... the whole time he is saying "It's coming out".... SERIOUSLY!???  Nice man let's me over... I work my way to the left lane... Here is Cassat, I get off... RED LIGHT! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.... go around the truck in front of me TURN RIGHT ON RED... Hess station... slam on breaks, pop the trunk get out his bag, open his door, get him out, he puts his arm around me we are walking in... lock the doors... head on in.  Get in the store... walk to the back right down skinny hallway with stacks of cases of cokes... "Mom, I just shit my pants... it just came out".... "OH WELL, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT NOW CAN I?"... "I'm just kidding it didn't but I feel like it did"... as he laughs at me... I WANT TO CHOKE HIM RIGHT ABOUT NOW, LOL.... we get in the bathroom... he has me put toilet paper on seat alllllllll the way around while he holds onto the bar.... grab him, walk over to the toilet... sit down.... wait... wait....wait.... "It must have been a false alarm"......OHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH! REALLY?  And this is why I don't pull over right away when he says he has to poop!  When I don't he craps in the car... when I do .... He doesn't..... CAN I GET AN AMEN PLEASE!  I just can't win for losing I swear!  STRESS ME OUT AND THEN SOME.... whatever... lol... Im just gonna keep rolling with the flow!  Sooner or later we will come together and get it down pact.  Either that or he'll be riding on plastic from now on lol!

Putting up my xmas tree tonight... prelit 10ft...plug it in.... LIGHTS DON'T WORK...AAAAAAAAAAAHHH... anyone know of a company or person that fixes this please let me know!  I don't wanna string lights lol!

Sir Alex is calling... gotta sign off... school tomorrow for Alex :0)

Before I forget.....PRAYER REQUEST PLEASE:
Patrick Harding ... He's 13. He was slide tackled during a soccer game last night. Punctured lung, two broken ribs and he's still bleeding in lung, so they are watching him for the next 12 hrs hoping the bleeding will stop...then They'll decide about surgery.  He is in Alex's PICU room at Shand's... he is in excellent hands but I need all you prayer warriors to lift him and his family up in prayer for the bleeding to stop!!  THANK YOU!

Have a great day!



Monday, November 15, 2010


Our trip to Tampa was a short one but we really enjoyed ourselves!  Nick worked very hard at putting his group together but he just doesn't have the participation this year as he has had in years past.  He puts his heart and soul into everything the fraternity does so he gets easily frutstrated that he doesn't get back from others what he puts into it.  I'm still proud of the amazing young man he has turned out to be and respect the fact that he gives it his all every time.  His fraternity didn't place but had they the numbers of people to participate that the others had.... they could have.   I am putting two of the winners videos below and you will see what I mean, lol.  Major props.... major participation.....these two were winners in the sorority contestants.

Alex rather enjoyed hanging with his older brother and the fraternity brothers... Lauren and I opted out for bed at 2am while Alex stayed up in the living room hanging with the guys.  At 5:30am I woke up to someone yelling outside the house.... walked in the living room to see Alex Michael and about 7 other guys still WIDE AWAKE, lol.  Now mind you, at 2am I gave Alex his meds along with a tylenol pm... HOWEVER... his brain is still not wired correctly so what would affect you and I.... doesn't even touch the surface of his brain.  I warned Alex that he should get some shut eye as we would be leaving promptly at 10 am and that isn't much sleep for him.  He responded with... "I'm not tired".  Ok have it your way but you ARE waking up at 9:30am to hit the road.  9:30am came.... they are all passed out in the living room.... I budge Nick to wake up... Alex did not go to sleep until 7:30am and wouldn't let them go to sleep until he did!  NICE!  I woke party animal up ..... rolled him outta bed, dressed him and we headed to the car.  YOU WOULD THINK.... he would sleep the entire way home....ummmmm again.... your brain and mine are wired completely differently these days.. him...not so much as a WINK of sleep the entire 2:45 trip home!  We got stuck in traffic for an hour with a car on fire.... stressing out because Lauren had to be at the airport and catch a flight to ATL by 3:30.  We were sitting still for a good 45 minutes and traffic wasn't budging.  We finally started moving inch by inch and were soon cruising down the interstate.  We were probably about 30 minutes away from the house when Alex shares that he has to "POOP".  If any of you know state road 301...... it ain't happening and there is NO WHERE to stop but the side of the road!  COUNTRY HIGHWAY!  I told Alex he was going to have to hold it about 30 minutes and we would be home.  There was no where but the side of the road for me to stop and that wasn't happening with having to go #2.  About 10 minutes later this is our conversation:
"Mom.... I think I just shit my pants"
"Alex Michael.... you betta pray to God that you didn't shit your pants in my car"
"Well, it was cold down there and now it feels warm..... do you wanna look?"
"Alex I'm driving!  I can't look!"
"Lauren do you wanna check it and see?"
"No Alex..... I sure as heck ain't looking"
"Alex.... you seriously betta pray to God that you did NOT just shit your pants in my car"
"Well... what are you gonna do to me?"
"What do you mean what am I gonna do to you?"
"Are you gonna hit me?"........ at this point I look at Lauren we laugh, it ain't funny but the fact that he just asked if I was gonna HIT him?  where did that come from lol!
.....this is my 4 year old speaking now..."Well I mean are you gonna do something to me?  Are you gonna take some of my stuff away from me?"
"ABSOLUTELY....Your phone for one FOR SURE"
"ok, but you are only taking it for 2 hours right?"
"Alex, seriously.... if you did... you will be lucky to get it back on Monday"!
"Well maybe I am just farting... I'm not sure"
So we have this conversation carrying on and what not for another 20 minutes..... we get to the front of my neighborhood and he says:
"here mom.... you might as well just take my phone because I really think I shit my pants!"

Well.... you know I am freaking out.... pissed as ever.... I just drove almost 3 hours... I'm tired and I have had to deal with Alex Ross the whole way home in a car none the less..... I am not looking forward to having to clean his ass... LITERALLY!  We pull up in the garage.... I open his door.... check him... OH YEAH...... WE HAVE A WINNER!  I get the wheelchair out... get a towel... I am going to transfer him straight from the car to the chair and go directly to the shower!  Poor Lauren feels helpless.... she has to leave to go to airport... I told her I got this.... hurry and be on your way :0)  Brooks was home... I get him to help me get the shower ready.... I load Alex in wheelchair.... take him directly to the shower where when he stands up out of wheelchair... his feet are in the shower.  OMG.... when I tell you he crapped his pants.... it was like a dang COW PATTY!!!  What the heck!  It's one thing to change a diaper... it's a whole other story to clean a  17 year old that just crapped in his pants and has been sitting in it for 30 minutes!  IT WAS EVERYWHERE!  Now mind you.... Brooks is gagging... Alex is laughing and I'm ranting and raging, lol!  We could have made some serious money for that video!  Well to top this all off.... I told Brooks to stand there with him while I went to get towel and boxers.  Brooks being the sweet brother he is... proceeds to  basically bend down and rinse Alex off.  Alex basically takes a shower on a potty chair that has a toilet seat cushion with no bottom so that we can get the necessary spots that we need to......not a regular shower chair because you can't get to all the crooks and nannies that you need to.  Plus I am afraid he will slip and fall if I need to wash him while he stands up.  Anywho.... Brooks is trying to help me by rinsing him off while I am getting the towel and boxers.... WELL.... as he was bending down to rinse Alex.... Alex warns him that he has to pee and 2 seconds later before Brooks can take cover....YEP YOU GUESSED IT.... He pees on Brooks!  I thought Brooks was going to come unglued!  First reaction.. he kicks Alex in the shin.....funny but not...hhahahahahahaha!  Brooks throws the shower head down and storms out.... PISSED OFF... OR RATHER PISSED ON....lol!  Just how I wanted to come home and relax from my trip to Tampa!!!  Soooo you see.... I never know what I'm going to get..... everyday is a challenge.  Most days have laughter off and on..... good and bad days......aggravating and frustrating.... but for the most part.....we find laughter in all!

Ok so I wrote all that this morning and had to stop when Alex woke up to do school.  We did 3 hours of Algebra then Brooks texted and needed a ride from school.  SCREEEEEEEECH....rush in the shower, get Alex ready...rush out the door... pick up Brooks drop off at his dads because he had appt at Nemours for his shoulder today.  As we are on our way to drop off Brooks....Alex in back seat saying he has to poop!  HERE WE GO AGAIN..... only this time, I drop everything... we have 35 minutes to get to therapy on time...but I drop it all, rush him in Brian's house because Lord knows I don't want another episode repeat of Friday's festivities.  Get him out the car... walk sloooooooooowly to the house and in the bathroom.... FALSE ALARM.  " I thought I had to go".... great... I don't think he realizes what all is entailed in taking him to the bathroom for me or anyone else having to take on the task.  It's exhausting and time consuming and especially irritating when it's a false alarm.  Alright, let's load back up in the car and pray we make it in time for therapy.  We got there with about 10 minutes to spare God willing!  "I think I have to poop now"..... seriously.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.  Ok hurry up.... unload wheelchair, put the leg rests on.... put the seat on..... get Alex out the car in the chair.... close the trunk, wait grab the bag.... close the trunk.... get his drink, turn off his phone put in the back of the seat..... wait grab my phone, grab my purse and sweater.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.... run to the bathroom it's coming out..... get in the bathroom, cover the seat with toilet paper.... get Alex out of chair and place his 162 pound behind on the toilet AGAIN.  AND....GUESS WHAT..... FALSE ALARM...must be gas.  I'm emotionally and physically exhausted by this point and ready for him to go into his therapy so I can get a break from taking him to the toilet, lol!  He had occupational therapy first and he worked on moving a phone book with his left hand..... hard to explain...  I should have videoed so you could see and understand.  Basically throwing his hand on the book and having to move it to and from.  He also had to stand up and put his left hand down on table and put weight on it....not an easy task as his hand likes to ball up and is very hard to straighten out and put weight on it.  While putting weight on his hand he had to toss bean bags at the basket I had in my hand.  I noticed he wasn't standing straight and told him to stand up straight or else his back would be hurting by the end of the session.  He said... "quit being so critical".... I said "I'm just trying to help you out"... he said "I'm gonna get me some shades....shades that say critic blockers".... hahahahahahaha... where does he get this stuff?!!  He is a trip!  So we leave therapy today and we are on I-10 and right before the Marietta exit (about 15 min from my house) Alex says... AND YOU CAN GUESS IT... "I GOTTA POOP".  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH are you freaking kidding me?  It's 5:30 traffic....Marietta exit is backed up on I-10 and it will probably be just as fast to get to my house as to sit here and get off, get you out the car and into the gas station to poop.  I GUESS NOT..... AND you may have guessed it again..... YES MY FRIENDS....excuse my French......HE SHIT HIS PANTS AGAIN IN MY CAR!  Allllllllll the false alarms we had today...... and he couldn't hold it 15 minutes to the house.  I'm talking as soon as I turn into our neighborhood.... IT CAME!  WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST????  I just don't get it.... what did I do to deserve this???? Why can't we figure this out between false alarm and real alarm?  Three words..... TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY!!! LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH!  I'm over it for the day..... tuckered out.... emotionally drained.... physically tired..... I myself am POOPED! It's not funny.... but it IS at the same time.  I hope that I have left you all smiling.... I smile as I write this so I am ending on a good note! :0)

Alex the master is calling... I need to publish this so I am closing for the night and recharging my batteries.  Before I close real quick great news..... Alex will be featured in Tim Tebow's documentary...HOW COOL IS THAT???!!!  Something to look forward to and very exciting!!  I'll keep you all posted as I know more.... but I know they will be featuring Alex's hospital visit from Tim.....maybe we'll see them sharing the KFC that he sent out for once Alex asked him if he brought him some Popeyes lol!  GOTTA LOVE THAT KID!!!

Until I can blog again.....


ps. Brooks xray today revealed seperated AC joint.  Only physical therapy can heal it.... no surgery needed.... WE GOT THIS!

Thursday, November 11, 2010


Another great day at therapy!  Alex took this same test 6 weeks ago and scored a 24.... yesterday he scored a 35!!  Here are some of the videos of things he has accomplished.

Standing for a WHOLE minute without anyone helping him or leaning on anything!  The video is boring lol but I had to share it!

This video is testing his ability to reach outside of his stance area.  If he can reach 10 inches he gets a score of 4 which is the highest possible.  6 weeks ago he couldn't do this and scored a 1!  All things we take for granted of being able to do!  He is learning how to balance and get his coordination back.

The video below shows him being able to bend over and pick up a cone.  If you look at his left leg you will see it shaking and how hard he is working to control it.

The next video Alex was given the task to turn half way around and then look back to his left and then look back to his right without losing his balance or needing assistance.  He sure has come a LONG way!  So proud!

The next couple of video's are at occupational therapy where she used stimulation device on his left arm to wake those nerves up and get the hand and arm to respond.  HE HATES IT, lol... BUT IT WORKS!  You can see his thumb move....most of the videos we can't really see a big movement but the hand was flexing and fingers were opening some.  We got Shawna to come over and hold his hand to keep his hand away from the left arm..... he held her hand and kissed it the when the stimulation would kick in... he is a trip!

Crazy how far we have come in 10 months!  Who would have ever thought!  God is GREAT and I continue to thank him on a daily basis for the many many blessings and miracles he performs daily in our lives.

I sat in his Cognitive therapy for about 15 minutes the other day.... we discussed some goals to reach with Alex... things he wanted to be able to accomplish... things I wanted him to be able to accomplish. My goals for him... to be able to sit in a room by himself, any room... for 30-60 minutes without needing someone to be in the room.  He is still very fearful of being alone so someone has to be with him at ALL times.  This is part of the post traumatic syndrome issues we still face.  I would like him to be able to sleep in a bed alone as well.  At some point I would like to get back to my marriage, lol. BABY STEPS!  I also requested to work on impulsiveness and filtering or rather thought process.  THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.... what is appropriate and what is not.  Working on introductions to people...not just blurting out " Hey you know me? I was the kid who was shot in the head back in January"... that kinda freaks people out who don't know his story!   When she asked him what one of his goals would be.... he responded with "To be able to sit thru the WHOLE movie Jackass 3D".... hahahahahaaha.... some of the things he comes up with out of nowhere!  That was his MAIN goal, lol!  Speaking of filtering and what NOT to say..... I took he and Brooks to the mall so Brooks could pick up a game we ordered waaaay back at Game Stop.  So we are checking out and the guy asks me if I want to buy the protection plan for 3$.... covers any scratches etc.... YES I do!  Right outta the mouth of my little brain injured Alex he says.... " speaking of protection... we need to go to the Jiffy and get me some"!  SERIOUSLY!  Are you kidding me?  THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.  He was dead serious!  We get in the car and I hear him calling someone (he uses speakerphone) .... calling Brian (Brooks dad) to ask him to please go buy him some and bring them to him!  again... FOR WHAT LOL!  He says and does some of the kookiest things..... the inside still needs a LOT of work!  For those of you who deal with him on a daily basis... via facebook... texting... phone calls etc.... HE IS NOT THE SAME ALEX YOU KNEW.  Please be patient with him and REALIZE that fact.  He knows not what he says may have an affect on you....what you and I can process as unreasonable and hurtful.... he can not.  He has no emotions yet.... and doesn't understand things the way you and I do.  YES there is A LOT of the old Alex still in there.... his wit and personality.... but he WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.... this is what is hard for me to grasp the concept of as I am sure it is you.  He looks good, he talks good, he is walking some.... but he IS NOT THE SAME INSIDE.  That person is gone and we are working on getting some of that back but it will NEVER BE THE SAME......tears streaming down my face as I write this.... some days are a lot harder than others.... YOU WILL NEVER FULLY UNDERSTAND until you spend an entire 24 hours with us.... ever!  No words can describe or explain what I go thru on a daily basis and how HARD it is to NOT lose control sometimes.  Every day is a challenge... I never know what I am going to get.  God has his hand on my heart for sure and has given me, for the most part, the patience of a saint.  I miss my ALLEY POOH....but know that I am very very grateful for the life that was saved and am thankful that God gave us a second chance at life. 

We are traveling to Tampa today to see Nick and his fraternity compete at "LIP SYNC" which is a dance competition for fraternities and sororities in order to raise money for charity.  Hoping I can catch a video of it to share with all of you once I get back.

Have a GREAT DAY! 
"God lets you excel so you can make him known" :0)



Monday, November 8, 2010

10 months SATURDAY !! Where has the time gone?

It's been a very eventful weekend with Brooks having Baldwins homecoming parade on Friday then he and Brittany were both on homecoming court and we had pictures and the game Friday night. They were the cutest couple there!!! Well I might be a little biased lol.

Saturday was a big win for LSU and we rolled right over that TIDE!! Way to Geaux Tigers! Saturday also marked the 10 month anniversary of that fateful day. Where has the time gone? I haven't worked in 10 mos..... Let me rephrase that.... I haven't BEEN to work in 10 mos. It seems in my mind.... just like yesterday I got the phone call that changed our lives forever. I am so thankful to be able to sit here and write about his progress and how far he has come because it could surely be an entirely different scenario. Internally he still has A Lot of quirks that need to be fixed but I have so much more than I ever anticipated.... Thank You God! What an awesome GOD u are!! I never imagined I would be going thru this with a child oF mine. Funny how I am now thrown into the handicap pool and see the world from a whole new point of view. I tend to let alot of things roll off my shoulders .... And surely not sweating the small stuff ...... picking and choosing my battles. Some things just are not worth the effort. I have enough drama in my every day life with the boy!

He started cognitive therapy last week, only one session... this week he will get three.  Cognitive will teach him some coping skills..... learn how to FILTER things he can and can't say that are socially acceptable and what's not, lol.  YAY!  Thanks to the Brain and Spinal Cord Injury Program...they got some funding and Alex is able to attend these sessions because insurance does not cover this.  Hoping this helps the inside heal with the outside and we can get him back to normal BRAIN activity or as close as normal can be with his condition :0)

We haven't been back to therapy since the Botox so today will be the first day back since and I can't wait to see what GREAT things he is going to do today!  POSITIVE THINKING NEVER HURT ANYONE RIGHT!

Funny story to share about yesterday before I go.... I needed to get my nails done, one of my simple pleasures in life that I try to accomplish atleast once a month and Heidi offered to watch the boy while I went.  I drop Alex off, get my nails done and call before I head back to see if they want any lunch.  Alex had already sent her to Wendy's lol... and ummm ordered 2 spicy chicken sandwiches, large fry and large drink!  Funny part is when he was half way thru the second one.. he looks at her and says... " my mom usually only lets me get one" hahahahaha!  TRUE THAT!  Anyway... I head over there and when I get there Heidi says that Alex is on the golf cart with Stan (her husband) and Maddox (her 4 year old).  We go inside and here comes Stan walking in the door... No Alex...No Maddox... "where is Alex?"  Stan... "Oh, he is driving Maddox around on the golf cart"......WHAT!  "Yeah, he's doing fine"..... "I told him to stay on the dirt road... not to go on the trails"...Heidi and I start sprint walking out the back door... now mind you... they have LOTS of land and  Stan did tell him to stay on the road and not go onto the trails.. (yeah right... this is Alex you are talking to).  BASICALLY... THIS IS A 4 YEAR OLD DRIVING A 4 YEAR OLD ON A GOLF CART.... hahahahahaha.  ALEX HAS NO PERIPHERAL VISION TO THE LEFT IN BOTH EYES...SURELY NOT CLEARED FOR DRIVING ANYTHING.  Hell he can't even drive the electric wheelchair he has without bumping into everything! We are sprint walking to find them.... the whole time Heidi and I are going back and forth... "OMG WHAT WAS STAN THINKING?".... "ALEX WILL TELL STAN WHATEVER HE WANTS TO HEAR TO BE ABLE TO DRIVE THAT DANG GOLF CART"....."MADDOX IS PROBABLY FREAKING OUT"...."DID ALEX ANSWER HIS CELL PHONE WHEN YOU CALLED HIM HEIDI?".. "NO"... "THEY ARE PROBABLY STUCK IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE...OR TIPPED OVER.... "STAN IS CRAZY"... we were laughing and freaking the whole way.... McKenzie (her daughter) is following us saying "he was driving good, he was staying on the road"... hahahahahaha.  We finally get to where we need to turn left to go back to where the open field is and we look to the right.... here comes Alex and Maddox on the golf cart.  ALEX IS DRIVING GOOD!  Slow, on the road.... I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.  They pull up and I was like... "Alex... you have no peripheral vision out of the left you shouldn't be driving"... "MOM... I'M FINE"... Maddox says.. "He's doing good"... here comes the best line of the day... "MOM... I let Maddox sit on my lap and drive!"... WHAT! "Yeah, but he started trying to really drive and it got hard so we quit". NICE! hahahahaha... two 4 year olds on a golf cart!  Then he shows me how he uses his LEFT foot to control the break.... this is the foot that he really has maybe 50% control of.  Every time he put his foot on the break to stop... his leg shook like it does when his leg is tired from therapy.  OMG.  Next... Heidi, McKenzie and I hop on the back because he wants to show me all the cows in the back... The Alex driving us now is NOT the Alex we saw driving Maddox!  He is going fast... he is driving close to the right side... hitting tree limbs, they are slapping us in the face and what not.... freaking me out... he TURNS onto a trail... where we are NOT supposed to go... Maddox is in the front saying " Daddy said not to go down here"... Alex saying " We are fine....he said we couldn't go by ourselves... our mom's are with us"..... THIS IS WHERE COGNITIVE WILL COME INTO PLAY... hopefully, lol!  Rational thinking.... definitely what he needs!  This road has bumps and branches hanging out and uneven path....OMG.... me and Heidi are both yelling... STOP HERE ALEX...SO WE CAN TURN AROUND.... he continues on saying we are fine we are almost there,  lol... NO...we see these huge ruts in the path like someone got stuck in the mud... I can only imagine what is fixing to happen to all of us in the cart with him driving...... STOP!  Finally he decides HE is going to try to turn us around.... NOT!  He pulls to the right.... now we are in thorns... Heidi gets out to try to turn us around.... hard to get into reverse... Alex's foot is stuck on the gas pedal while she is somewhat half in the drivers seat/half out of the cart.... WHAT A MESS, lol!  She gets it into drive and is driving half in and half out till she gets us OFF THE BEATEN PATH.... the whole time Alex is saying.. "I'M DRIVING WHEN WE GET BACK TO THE DIRT ROAD".... " "I'M DRIVING WHEN WE GET BACK TO THE DIRT ROAD".... like a broken record.  We finally get back to the dirt road... we let him have it back... I can't wait to get off, lol.  But you know what.... THAT MADE ALEX'S DAY!  He hasn't been able to drive.... he knows he won't ever be able to drive again.... Stan gave him a little independence yesterday....a little food for his soul if you will.... something I don't know that I could have given him, lol!  He lived a little yesterday.... he was on cloud 9 and like a kid in a candy store!  Once we finally got back to the house... we told him he couldn't drive without Stan... well Stan had to be somewhere at 2:30 so BRAVE Heidi said she would let him go one more run with her.  The kids and I stayed in the house lol.  She comes back about 10-15 minutes later... I asked how he did... she said.. "He did fine.. he did OK".. Alex says... " I did perfect didn't I Heidi".... she smiled... GOTTA LOVE ALEX!  An adventurous day for us all, ha ha!  Now he wants to go over there everyday this week and spend the night this weekend, hahahahahaha!  It was kinda like dropping him off at kindergarten for the first time and hearing and seeing what he had done in the first day!  THANK YOU HEIDI AND STAN..... you gave him a little taste of what it was like to be 17 again.... free like a bird and the wind blowing in his hair!!

10 months.... Thank you God for my many blessings today and every day!

I have to close for now... I started blogging last night but Alex called so I had to finish up this morning.  Gotta get up, get moving... fold laundry, straighten up around here, get myself and the boy ready and be out of here by 12!  WHEW!




Thursday, November 4, 2010


What an exhausting day today!  The doctor had changed Alex's ADHD meds from 20mg of Vyvanse to 5mg of Adderall because I felt like the 20mg was too much and making him coo coo!  20mg was the lowest dose of Vyvanse so we switched back to Adderall in the lowest form.  WRONG IDEA! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... it is extended release and apparently it released sometime last night and he was UNABLE to fall asleep until about 3:30am... OMG!  We had to be up at 7:30am for chemistry teacher Mrs. Macy... soooooooo we did NOT get much sleep last night and had a full day today.  Once Mrs. Macy left, I let him go back to sleep because I knew he couldn't have anything to eat or drink before his Botox procedure.  I was a little sly how I handled that whole deal, lol.  He woke up once requesting choc chip pancakes and I said you only have a little bit of time left to sleep you should take advantage of that... you can eat once it's time to get up :0)  He had NO idea he was getting botox today as I didn't want to deal with all the anxiety this would cause nor the attitude and possiblity of Alexander resurfacing. Soooo, I waited till 10:50 when i knew we had to be out the door by 11:15 the latest and basically rushed him out the door.  As we are walking out he says... "hey, I didn't get any breakfast"... I told him we would just get something after his doctor appt.  He insisted on having something and I broke down and said "you really can't have anything until AFTER your doc appt.".  That's when I got the LOOK, lol.  "WHY can't I have anything until AFTER"?  "It's just a normal appt right?"... "Ooops No, you are getting Botox today"... " WHAAAAAAAT... YOU LIED"... "YOU SAID IT WAS A DOC APPT".... my response... " IT IS A DOCTORS APPT"... hahahahahaha.  Well you guessed it... ALEXANDER came out while we were at the hospital waiting in the little room to be taken back for the procedure.  Naturally we had to be there 2 hours prior to the appt time of 2pm sooooooooooo for 2 hours we battled the " I want to go out into the hall and meet people"... "No Alex, you have to stay put in this room"... "Well, I have to poop then"... "Ok Alex, I will take you to the bathroom but if you don't poop, I am taking your phone for the rest of the day".... " OH MY GOD...you can't do that I have to poop".. "Well if you have to poop then you don't have to worry about your phone getting taken" .... "Well I have to pee then"... "Ok, here is the urinal, just turn around we will close the door and you can do it here"... "nevermind, I don't have to go anymore"... hahahahahaha
He tried everything you can imagine to get out of the room.. he couldn't do that so then he decided he wanted to lay on the bed... the bed that was way too high and I still can't lift anything and mom isn't strong enough to do by herself either so this was a task.  You can't tell him he won't be comfortable... he has to see it to believe it!  Soooo we go thru the whole rigamaroll of getting his hefty behind onto the uncomfortable table.  "close the curtain and turn the light out... i want to sleep" ... "Alex, we aren't sitting in the dark.... just close your eyes"... " cover me with a blanket please"..... and so on and so on and it lasted about 10 minutes he wanted down back into his chair.  ANXIETY was in full force.  Every lady that entered the room or hall, he wanted to know their name and if they were going to be in the room with him when he got Botox.  "If so, please tell them to put me under before you stick me with a needle".  The anestheseologist came in and made his day when she told him she wasn't going to put an IV in him because the procedure only takes about 10 minutes so there was no need unless something changed during the procedure and he needed it.... so NO NEEDLES today.  The nurse came back in and said she had found us a room with a TV that was available and she was going to put us back there until it was time for his procedure.  THANK GOD!  Cartoon Network saved us!  It was finally time and they took us back to the holding area where he was reconnected with several nurses from the last time we were there 3 mos ago.  THIS KID IS AMAZING!  He remembered their names, their kids names.... their last names.... it was CRAZY!  Heck I couldn't even remember!  My little brain injury.... his brain is a sponge and never ceases to amaze me!  The procedure lasted about 15 minutes and 30 minutes later we were back with him, his vitals were good and we were out the door.  As we are wheeling him out... he is insisting he wants a 10 piece chicken strip meal from Hardees AND some Popeyes fried chicken lol!  He did get Hardees and only ate 4 strips before his stomach was hurting and he gave up, lol.... I think it was the meds from the procedure not sitting well with the food.  He hasn't really eaten much else today.  The Botox usually takes about 3 days to kick in before we will really see a notice.... it worked great last time and he has really come far since the last go round so I am excited about what is to come!

I finally got the authorization from Tri Care for the trip to GA Emery Univeristy however... Emery had not received the authorization from Tri Care.  I had to call Tri Care back today to give them a different fax number and it will take up to 48 hours before Emery will have it in posted in their system before I can make appt.  I called Emery back JUST for grins and giggles to see what their scheduling was like in case it was going to be 6 weeks before I could get him an  appt.  She said no it should be fine.  I proceeded to go into detail about Alex's case and she asked his age.  GUESS WHAT.... Dr. John doesn't do pediatrics... OMG!  Are you kidding me?  All that I have been thru and for nothing????  I DON'T THINK SO!  Soooo, I made yet another call to Dr. Becks office to speak to my precious AMY to see if there is anything she can do. Maybe fax Alex's records explain the complexity of what we need.... they are top notch doctors surely we can make an exception in Alex's case?  I CANNOT GO THRU ANOTHER REFERRAL PROCESS LIKE THIS ONE!  Precious Amy was going to make a phone call.... and was also going to have Dr. Beck make a call to Dr. John as he personally knows him.... THANK YOU GOD!  I still don't know what the outcome of all this is going to be so PLEASE SAY A FEW PRAYERS THAT HE WILL TAKE OUR CASE for a second opinion!  I just want to explore all of our options.... leaving no stone unturned.  We will travel wherever we have to travel and do whatever we gotta do to get this dang trach out!

Big day tomorrow... BALDWIN HOMECOMING....Brooks is on the homecoming court so he has a parade tomorrow at 1pm riding on a float and then the game tomorrow night.  We got him a new suit, shirt, tie, socks.... looking pretty dang handsome... I can't wait!  He and Brittany both made the homecoming court and will be walking on the field together to see who gets crowned.... EXCITING :0)  You know I will have pics to share!!  Good Luck Brit and Boo!!

Wishing you all a safe and happy weekend!!  Throw some prayers our way....need this trach business taken care of asap!


Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Sorry it's been forever since I have been on here..... alot on my plate right now with Brooks, Alex and myself out of commission.  A little more than I bargained for.... for sure!

YES... ALEX TRICKED EM!   His famous move, lol!

We had an awesome weekend starting Thursday downtown for the Fla/Ga football weekend... THE LARGEST COCKTAIL PARTY ever... with crazies everywhere and an awesome place to people watch!  Alex had a blast and yes he did dress up in his banana suit and cruise RV city where he got lots of attention... especially from the pretty girls.  He made many many new friends and you know he was in heaven with all the kisses and attention he was getting!

The banana suit was a hit for sure.... he cracks me up!    It was a funfilled 4 day weekend and much needed for all of us.  We got back sunday night after the city championship game and ER visit with Brooks... Alex wanted to trick or treat.. imagine that ha!  We met new neighbors and of course Alex got to introduce himself and share his story.  The neighbors across the street have 2 daughters one 17 and one 19.  The 19 year old was outside with her dad giving out candy and Alex began to turn on the charm!  He was steady winking and blowing her kisses... OMG.... WHO IS THIS KID,LOL!  The old Alex would NEVER be sooo aggressive and outright flirty like that!  Especially in front of her dad, lol.  As we were leaving he told her.... "If you ever need anything... like eggs, milk, flour... a boyfriend.... you know where I'm at!"  CRAZY KID...hahahahaha.  Aaron dressed up as a redneck, walked around barefooted and pushed Alex while we walked around the hood trick or treating.  There was one house that left a bowl outside... what do you think Alex was trying to do???  DUMP THE ENTIRE BOWL IN HIS BAG!  Good thing I caught him or he would have pulled it off!

The neighbors were all very very generous to Alex and after about 5-6 houses... his bag was practically full, lol.  Brooks was a trooper and even though he was in pain with his fractured collar bone... he wanted to enjoy the moment with Alex as we all did.  Sooo thankful to have him here and who cares if he is 17 wanting to trick or treat.... YOU GO BOY!  More power to ya!  He got his phone taken away on the way home from the hospital because he was in RARE form and using profanity left and right .... of course most of it was because he was trying to make Brittany, Brooks and Aaron to laugh.   Sometimes it's hard NOT to laugh but I can't have him going around outside of our world talking like that and thinking it's ok.  So he continued to laugh at me after I took his phone and was whispering the word in the backseat saying... "hahahahahaha, I said Dick and she heard me"...hahahahahaha that shit is funny"..... hhahahaha... I SAID.... "YES SHE DID AND SHE STILL CAN HEAR YOU"!  So he begins to crack up even harder and pulls his hat over his eyes and says..." she might hear me but she can't see me"... SERIOUSLY!  hahahahaha!  He was full of it when I tell you he kept the jokes coming and he was cracking himself up.  I think thats what was the funniest part of all was watching him crack himself up, hahaha.  Brooks and Aaron were dying laughing in the backseat and were trying their best not to laugh but sometimes that makes you laugh even more when you know you aren't supposed to be! 

 Alex started cognitive therapy this week on Monday.... Carly took him for me to his therapies on Monday as I was under the weather.  She said he was in rare form and I figured he would be because for one I wasn't there and secondly.... it was something new added to the schedule and out of the norm.  Hopefully he will settle in next week and we will start to see some FILTER changes with the benefit from the cognitive therapy.  He will learn how to fit back into society WITH A FILTER and learn what he can and CAN NOT say!  WE HOPE, LOL.

Tomorrow we have an appt at Wolfson's at 12pm  Alex has botox injections but has no clue! WHAT HE DOESN'T KNOW....WON'T HURT HIM :0)  I am saving myself from the anxiety that will overcome him if I tell him so I have opted to tell him on the way to the hospital tomorrow.  He thinks we are going for a routine check up.... he will be sedated and put under anesthesia so I ask that you all keep him in your prayers as tomorrow will be another big day for him and stressful for me.  Any time he is put to sleep it makes me nervous!  

Going to close for now.... before he asks me to read the blog to him and he finds out!  Will post tomorrow and let you all know how the procedure goes!  BIG PRAYERS PLEASE!



Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Brooks' fractures his collar bone!


We had a great weekend and I have lots to share! However... I have my hands full at the moment... Brooks' team played for the city championship in the jags stadium on Sunday and before the first quarter was over, he went down and out! We waited till the game was over ... His team won.. We headed to the ER for X-ray.  Atleast the play that did the damage made the newspaper, lol.  See Below:

I am under the weather at the moment as well with an outpatient surgery on Monday.... sooooooo mom is here helping take care of three "crips" yesterday and part of today but has to travel back to Fernandina later today to handle her own business.  I have lots of pics and stories to share from this weekend so hopefully I can get on later today and fill you all in for a good laugh!  I have to download pics first and figure out how to get all of us taken care of and do what needs to be done before I can get on here, so hopefully by tonight it will all fall into place.  Never ever a dull moment around here that is for certain!!!!  We have to get Alex onto the base today for a doc appt and school later this afternoon.... just check back in tomorrow and hopefully I will have figured it all out and was able to post.

Until then.... hoping you are all having a great Tuesday.... better than mine for sure!  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!