Monday, November 15, 2010
OH CRAP! LITERALLY!
Our trip to Tampa was a short one but we really enjoyed ourselves! Nick worked very hard at putting his group together but he just doesn't have the participation this year as he has had in years past. He puts his heart and soul into everything the fraternity does so he gets easily frutstrated that he doesn't get back from others what he puts into it. I'm still proud of the amazing young man he has turned out to be and respect the fact that he gives it his all every time. His fraternity didn't place but had they the numbers of people to participate that the others had.... they could have. I am putting two of the winners videos below and you will see what I mean, lol. Major props.... major participation.....these two were winners in the sorority contestants.
Alex rather enjoyed hanging with his older brother and the fraternity brothers... Lauren and I opted out for bed at 2am while Alex stayed up in the living room hanging with the guys. At 5:30am I woke up to someone yelling outside the house.... walked in the living room to see Alex Michael and about 7 other guys still WIDE AWAKE, lol. Now mind you, at 2am I gave Alex his meds along with a tylenol pm... HOWEVER... his brain is still not wired correctly so what would affect you and I.... doesn't even touch the surface of his brain. I warned Alex that he should get some shut eye as we would be leaving promptly at 10 am and that isn't much sleep for him. He responded with... "I'm not tired". Ok have it your way but you ARE waking up at 9:30am to hit the road. 9:30am came.... they are all passed out in the living room.... I budge Nick to wake up... Alex did not go to sleep until 7:30am and wouldn't let them go to sleep until he did! NICE! I woke party animal up ..... rolled him outta bed, dressed him and we headed to the car. YOU WOULD THINK.... he would sleep the entire way home....ummmmm again.... your brain and mine are wired completely differently these days.. him...not so much as a WINK of sleep the entire 2:45 trip home! We got stuck in traffic for an hour with a car on fire.... stressing out because Lauren had to be at the airport and catch a flight to ATL by 3:30. We were sitting still for a good 45 minutes and traffic wasn't budging. We finally started moving inch by inch and were soon cruising down the interstate. We were probably about 30 minutes away from the house when Alex shares that he has to "POOP". If any of you know state road 301...... it ain't happening and there is NO WHERE to stop but the side of the road! COUNTRY HIGHWAY! I told Alex he was going to have to hold it about 30 minutes and we would be home. There was no where but the side of the road for me to stop and that wasn't happening with having to go #2. About 10 minutes later this is our conversation:
"Mom.... I think I just shit my pants"
"Alex Michael.... you betta pray to God that you didn't shit your pants in my car"
"Well, it was cold down there and now it feels warm..... do you wanna look?"
"Alex I'm driving! I can't look!"
"Lauren do you wanna check it and see?"
"No Alex..... I sure as heck ain't looking"
"Alex.... you seriously betta pray to God that you did NOT just shit your pants in my car"
"Well... what are you gonna do to me?"
"What do you mean what am I gonna do to you?"
"Are you gonna hit me?"........ at this point I look at Lauren we laugh, it ain't funny but the fact that he just asked if I was gonna HIT him? where did that come from lol!
"NO I'M NOT GONNA HIT YOU.... WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?"
.....this is my 4 year old speaking now..."Well I mean are you gonna do something to me? Are you gonna take some of my stuff away from me?"
"ABSOLUTELY....Your phone for one FOR SURE"
"ok, but you are only taking it for 2 hours right?"
"Alex, seriously.... if you did... you will be lucky to get it back on Monday"!
"Well maybe I am just farting... I'm not sure"
So we have this conversation carrying on and what not for another 20 minutes..... we get to the front of my neighborhood and he says:
"here mom.... you might as well just take my phone because I really think I shit my pants!"
Well.... you know I am freaking out.... pissed as ever.... I just drove almost 3 hours... I'm tired and I have had to deal with Alex Ross the whole way home in a car none the less..... I am not looking forward to having to clean his ass... LITERALLY! We pull up in the garage.... I open his door.... check him... OH YEAH...... WE HAVE A WINNER! I get the wheelchair out... get a towel... I am going to transfer him straight from the car to the chair and go directly to the shower! Poor Lauren feels helpless.... she has to leave to go to airport... I told her I got this.... hurry and be on your way :0) Brooks was home... I get him to help me get the shower ready.... I load Alex in wheelchair.... take him directly to the shower where when he stands up out of wheelchair... his feet are in the shower. OMG.... when I tell you he crapped his pants.... it was like a dang COW PATTY!!! What the heck! It's one thing to change a diaper... it's a whole other story to clean a 17 year old that just crapped in his pants and has been sitting in it for 30 minutes! IT WAS EVERYWHERE! Now mind you.... Brooks is gagging... Alex is laughing and I'm ranting and raging, lol! We could have made some serious money for that video! Well to top this all off.... I told Brooks to stand there with him while I went to get towel and boxers. Brooks being the sweet brother he is... proceeds to basically bend down and rinse Alex off. Alex basically takes a shower on a potty chair that has a toilet seat cushion with no bottom so that we can get the necessary spots that we need to......not a regular shower chair because you can't get to all the crooks and nannies that you need to. Plus I am afraid he will slip and fall if I need to wash him while he stands up. Anywho.... Brooks is trying to help me by rinsing him off while I am getting the towel and boxers.... WELL.... as he was bending down to rinse Alex.... Alex warns him that he has to pee and 2 seconds later before Brooks can take cover....YEP YOU GUESSED IT.... He pees on Brooks! I thought Brooks was going to come unglued! First reaction.. he kicks Alex in the shin.....funny but not...hhahahahahahaha! Brooks throws the shower head down and storms out.... PISSED OFF... OR RATHER PISSED ON....lol! Just how I wanted to come home and relax from my trip to Tampa!!! Soooo you see.... I never know what I'm going to get..... everyday is a challenge. Most days have laughter off and on..... good and bad days......aggravating and frustrating.... but for the most part.....we find laughter in all!
Ok so I wrote all that this morning and had to stop when Alex woke up to do school. We did 3 hours of Algebra then Brooks texted and needed a ride from school. SCREEEEEEEECH....rush in the shower, get Alex ready...rush out the door... pick up Brooks drop off at his dads because he had appt at Nemours for his shoulder today. As we are on our way to drop off Brooks....Alex in back seat saying he has to poop! HERE WE GO AGAIN..... only this time, I drop everything... we have 35 minutes to get to therapy on time...but I drop it all, rush him in Brian's house because Lord knows I don't want another episode repeat of Friday's festivities. Get him out the car... walk sloooooooooowly to the house and in the bathroom.... FALSE ALARM. " I thought I had to go".... great... I don't think he realizes what all is entailed in taking him to the bathroom for me or anyone else having to take on the task. It's exhausting and time consuming and especially irritating when it's a false alarm. Alright, let's load back up in the car and pray we make it in time for therapy. We got there with about 10 minutes to spare God willing! "I think I have to poop now"..... seriously.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh. Ok hurry up.... unload wheelchair, put the leg rests on.... put the seat on..... get Alex out the car in the chair.... close the trunk, wait grab the bag.... close the trunk.... get his drink, turn off his phone put in the back of the seat..... wait grab my phone, grab my purse and sweater.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.... run to the bathroom it's coming out..... get in the bathroom, cover the seat with toilet paper.... get Alex out of chair and place his 162 pound behind on the toilet AGAIN. AND....GUESS WHAT..... FALSE ALARM...must be gas. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted by this point and ready for him to go into his therapy so I can get a break from taking him to the toilet, lol! He had occupational therapy first and he worked on moving a phone book with his left hand..... hard to explain... I should have videoed so you could see and understand. Basically throwing his hand on the book and having to move it to and from. He also had to stand up and put his left hand down on table and put weight on it....not an easy task as his hand likes to ball up and is very hard to straighten out and put weight on it. While putting weight on his hand he had to toss bean bags at the basket I had in my hand. I noticed he wasn't standing straight and told him to stand up straight or else his back would be hurting by the end of the session. He said... "quit being so critical".... I said "I'm just trying to help you out"... he said "I'm gonna get me some shades....shades that say critic blockers".... hahahahahahaha... where does he get this stuff?!! He is a trip! So we leave therapy today and we are on I-10 and right before the Marietta exit (about 15 min from my house) Alex says... AND YOU CAN GUESS IT... "I GOTTA POOP". AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH are you freaking kidding me? It's 5:30 traffic....Marietta exit is backed up on I-10 and it will probably be just as fast to get to my house as to sit here and get off, get you out the car and into the gas station to poop. I GUESS NOT..... AND you may have guessed it again..... YES MY FRIENDS....excuse my French......HE SHIT HIS PANTS AGAIN IN MY CAR! Allllllllll the false alarms we had today...... and he couldn't hold it 15 minutes to the house. I'm talking as soon as I turn into our neighborhood.... IT CAME! WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST???? I just don't get it.... what did I do to deserve this???? Why can't we figure this out between false alarm and real alarm? Three words..... TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY!!! LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH! I'm over it for the day..... tuckered out.... emotionally drained.... physically tired..... I myself am POOPED! It's not funny.... but it IS at the same time. I hope that I have left you all smiling.... I smile as I write this so I am ending on a good note! :0)
Alex the master is calling... I need to publish this so I am closing for the night and recharging my batteries. Before I close real quick great news..... Alex will be featured in Tim Tebow's documentary...HOW COOL IS THAT???!!! Something to look forward to and very exciting!! I'll keep you all posted as I know more.... but I know they will be featuring Alex's hospital visit from Tim.....maybe we'll see them sharing the KFC that he sent out for once Alex asked him if he brought him some Popeyes lol! GOTTA LOVE THAT KID!!!
Until I can blog again.....
ps. Brooks xray today revealed seperated AC joint. Only physical therapy can heal it.... no surgery needed.... WE GOT THIS!