WHEW.... WHAT A DAY WITH MR. ALEX TODAY! When I tell you we are in the storm with Alex.... I ain't kidding! He has been mean as fire and hateful. His favorite word is "duh"... like I will say "are you ready to eat?" His response is " duuuuuuuh, i told you 5 times already I was hungy.... if you were listening to me you would already know, but you aren't, you ignore me." WOW... are you kidding me?!!
His first therapy was with his psychologist and that was very much needed. He is in the early stage of POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER. They discussed things that trigger his anger which are the matches that light his fire. His main triggers right now are: Physical therapy, occupational therapy, when people talk to him like a baby, when thinking about that day and the person responsible for what he is going thru and when there is a crowd of people in his room. So he and the doc came up with alternatives to these triggers. He is only allowed 2 visitors at a time for 15 minute visits. Because he has expressed that he feels like he has no control over his life anymore... Alex and she came up with one thing he can be in control of.... his visitors! In order to visit Alex ......he has to approve your visit and time. No visitors after 6:30 during the week and that goes for those even closest to me. I am no longer in control of who visits and what times, except for NO ONE after 6:30 during the week. You must call me the day before you wish to visit and he has to give you the ok and the time. HIs brain has way too much stimulation going on right now with every memory flooding back at once which is ALSO contributing to the fact that I can't get him to go to sleep. I ask that EVERYONE, and again that means those that are closest to me... not take it personal when Alex says you cannot visit that day. You may begin to feel a little of what Randi and I go thru on a daily basis but I do not want you to take it personal and remember.... it's all about him and what he needs in order to recover from this. You are more than welcome to come and hang out in the waiting room and see me but if he decides that day that you are not visiting... guess what... I'm sorry but you won't be visiting. I have way too much going on in this room to stress about anyone's feelings getting hurt or upset... I am dealing with him hurting my feelings as well as Randi's on a daily basis. This is the one thing that I can give him to be in control of so please bare with me as we get thru this next stage. He has A LOT of anxiety going on.... on top of being scared... confused.... mad... frustrated... and he is just full of piss and vinegar right now. Nothing Randi and I can do or say is right but we just keep on smiling and trucking along as if everything is normal. It's a hard thing to get punched in the face over and over while standing there and taking it lol! THANK YOU GOD FOR ONE MORE DAY WITH MY HANDSOME BOY! That my friends is what gets me thru everyday while in this phase. I take myself back to day one..... somewhere I never want to be again! Today is an awesome day and I am thankful he can talk back, whether disrespectful or not... I am thankful that he has his sight and can move his left side of his body! I am thankful that he is alive that I have the opportunity to change his diaper 6 times a day or more.....I do get frustrated at times during the day Lord but I am still thankful just the same and I am only human. I asked you that first night to just give me my boy back and I would deal with the rest.... I am strong Lord....but I need your hand on me right now.... Lord you are testing me left and right... I trust that you put us in this... and you will pull us through it. Give me and Randi the correct responses to deal with his frustrations.....guide us in our daily obstacles with him. He is a feisty little buggar and spicy as ever ..... I love him heart and soul and truly am thankful ever so much that you gave him a second chance at life!! You are an awesome God and I feel you all around me and Randi daily by little blessings outside of this room that you provide us.
Tomorrow we get to go bowling with the rec therapist and some others here... praying that Alex will get some fun out of that and that he will be able to stand the noise with earplugs in his ears. Hoping that this can be a fu n filled day of worrying about NOTHING but getting a strike lol! As competitive as he is... that may be stressful in itself. He will probably say that the bowling alley is cheating or that they gave him a rigged ball, lol!
The therapist have all pulled together to make the TEBOW PRO DAY visit HAPPEN and become a reality for Alex! CAN'T WAIT!! Once again.. God has touched their hearts that they are willing to come in as early as 6am and begin therapy for Alex that morning so that he gets his 3 hours in before we leave. WOW! Thank you Miss Lynn who is coming in at 6am, thank you Miss Jenny who is coming in at 7am, thank you Miss Laura who is taking him at 8 and thank you Miss Nicole for taking him at 8:30. They have all pulled together... switched their schedules around to accommodate Alex so that he can go to Gainesville for Pro Day! Your prayers have worked and I ask that you continue to pray for him on a daily basis..... he has alot of junk going on in that brain of his right now. I hate it for him and it is a very very hard thing to watch. I know that this too shall pass and I will have my Alex back soon.... thank you to DREAMS COME TRUE.... you have given ME a light at the end of the tunnel because I can't wait to take Alex to Hawaii and watch him surf and stick his toes in the sand or run down that beach! I hold onto that thought everyday and know in my heart... it's not that far off and we will all be the happy little family that we once were before that horrific day of January 6th.