Sorry I didn't blog last night, we had some chefs :0), Heather and Jon and they cooked an amazing dinner, orange juice chicken, that Alex has been requesting since he was in Brooks! IT WAS FANTASTIC...thank you Heather and Jon soooo much for coming over and making one of Alex's favorite dishes for him.... you all know how much he loves to eat! Jon.... I owe you a dinner now being you didn't even get a plate yourself!! THANK YOU again....so much! A quick shout out to Miss Bonnie and Sherri Jo for coming out earlier in the week, at Alex's request for Brownies and some of Miss Bonnie's cooking ..... I reeeeeeeeeeeally appreciate you two and can't thank you enough for picking one day a week to bring dinner because you don't know just exactly the gift in that ....that you are giving me with another task that I don't have to do on that day!
I had a melt down yesterday morning.... Alex just had me running in 100 different directions, one right after the other, cooking choc chip pancakes,doing laundry, fixing his leg on his pillow, having to go to the bathroom, lay with me, i need medicine, fix my leg, i want a shower before we go to disney on ice, fix my leg on my pillow, can you scoot me up, find my remote, I need water, my arm hurts can you put it on a pillow, can you put socks on my feet... and so on and so forth. Well, I finally moved him into the living room where I was trying to cook his pancakes so that I didn't burn them. Once I got that out of the way, he wanted his trach cleaned. There is a piece that fits in the trach, called an inner canula.... i have to take that out and clean it a couple of times a day because mucus builds up in there and he says it feels clogged. Sooo, I get out the trach cleaning kit that comes in a box, use peroxide and water, take it out of his trach, scrub the mucus out...rinse with sterile water, and put back in. No big deal. Long story short... in the middle of this cleaning with crap all over my gloved hands... Chad was waking up and wanted a kiss... I couldn't do it at that moment and he let out a sigh. WRONG THING AT THE WRONG TIME. I lost it! I am trying so hard every day to juggle all of these new things that I have to do...without trying to leave anyone out and a sigh is the last thing I wanted to hear at that moment after the morning I had! From his point of view, he just wanted one second of my time and I totally understand that...but at this point nothing as it was before and my point to him was that I don't even have ONE SECOND for myself. In my mind, when I said "I'm in the middle of cleaning Alex's trach" his response should have been, "ok, well come see me when you finish". A sigh makes me feel like crap for not stopping what I was in the middle of and puts another demand on me of which I am on overload already! Randi helps out as much as she can, but Alex wants me most of the time which we need to get accustomed to anyways being that she will be leaving us soon. Sooooooo, I had a major melt down of which I probably needed to let out anyways, lol! We worked thru it, talked about it and are all learning how to juggle this new world we live in. Chad has been awesome thru this whole ordeal and the last thing I want to do is make him feel neglected especially since we had been gone for 86 days. What I need everyone in my house to understand is that I am under a tremendous amount of stress and I am doing the best that I can and giving 110% to the best of my ability to make EVERYONE happy :0) COMPASSION is all I need every now and then, hee hee.
Soooooooo after I recouped from the melt down.... we started getting ready for Disney on Ice...THANK YOU TO CHILDRENS MIRACLE NETWORK for supplying those tickets.... and if someone donated them to that organization... I thank you for your generosity! We loaded up and headed out! What I really should have thought of...ALEX HAS NO FILTER.... Disney on Ice..where hundreds of little kids are...is probably not such a good idea at this state of his mind, lol! What was really cute though was when we just got there and are trying to find our section.... Randi heard some little girls walk by and go "hey...that's Alex Ross"... aweeeeeeee.... how cute was that! He says its the helmet that everyone recognizes him with... and he's probably right since they show him in that on the news! We found our seats and basically all he wanted to do was EAT! Cheesburger, fries, reeses cups, pretzel with cheese.... then he was ready to go! What the heck?! So we left before it was over... we beat the crowd, lol!
I gotta run... mom is here and we are attacking my garage today...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! MOST OF IT IS GOING... i just need to sift thru boxes to make sure I get out all the pictures. MAJOR YARD SALE to benefit Alex's therapy!
Here's to a better day.... sunshine and rainbows right!!
THANK YOU GOD FOR ONE MORE DAY WITH MY HANDSOME BOY!!