Save or Shave was a big success thanks to Gator Country 99.9.. Eden, Amadeus and Steve... Michelle and the rest of the crew! MOST OF ALL.... THANK YOU MY SWEET HANDSOME NICHOLAS! What an awesome selfless admirable brother you are and an amazing young gentlemen you have grown up to be. A mom couldn't ask for anything better than the 3 young men I have raised! I am so proud of all 3 of you and honored to call myself YOUR mom. Nick... what you did for Alex last night there are no words to describe how heartfelt and selfless that was of you. You had a vision, with a goal of $500 and who would have ever guessed that you would way surpass that and that it would be such a big event! How lucky is Alex to have you as a big brother.... he'll never be able to show his gratitude in the way that you deserve but know that he does love you and will appreciate this once he is thru this stage that he is going thru. He did tell Brooks that it didn't look as bad as he thought it would, lol! Gotta love Alex and his honesty right now... there isn't anything he won't tell you and he certainly doesn't think before he speaks! His senses are like 10 times hightened right now and can smell and hear things that you nor I even notice unless pointed out. For instance... last night in our nightly going to be ritual he could hear the 2nd hand on the clock, that is on the wall across the room, ticking. He thought I was making some beat noises on the computer... or rather insisted... even though my notebook wasn't open or turned on. That was only the beginning of our nightmare of nights with Alex.... the worst since we have been here at Brooks! Once the lights go out... Alex becomes a different creature in the room... and yes I said CREATURE, lol! He fights that sleep so hard and is a person that I have never recognized and to say the least... needs exorcism!! I keep waiting for him to sit up, his head spin and green stuff to start spurting out of his mouth, hahahahaha. It's really not funny, and today I can laugh....however last night was by far the worst ever with Alex ending up in a straight jacket! One of the hardest things for me to witness ..... laying 12 feet away from me... I had to bury my head in my blankets and cry myself to sleep! He shakes his bed, screaming my name, Brooks' name, Randi's name... cursing at the top of his lungs.. any curse word he can think of.... trying to throw pillows.... he had his right leg out of the bed between the foot rail and hand rail... pulled himself UPRIGHT and was trying to slide out between the two!! He pulled on his g-tube (feeding tube that comes out of his stomach) and probably pulled it out an inch before I could rush over to stop him causing it to bleed a little. Called me a B$%#, told me to get away from him, ripped off his diaper, pulled his innercanula to his trach out.... basically he just went CRAZY in a matter of seconds! I had to call the nurse... we got him settled and threatened the jacket... he said "No, I promise I will be good".... as soon as the lights went out and nurse walked out... ROUND TWO! I had to get the nurses of which now the jacket went on! During the day he has a valve that is placed over his trach that allows him to talk... well at night.. we taket that off and he uses his finger to occlude it to speak. Once the jacket went on, his hands became tied...that freaked him out that he couldn't use his hand to occlude the trach to speak.... soooo, he breaks free from the ties that bind that right hand.... ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? ROUND THREE.... now here they come with these boxing glove looking mittons that they place on his hand.....you think he was freaked before...now he is really freaked! This is the point that I cannot look or take anymore... I ask Alex if Randi can please tickle his back or his hair.... anything soothing I can think of that he will relax.... Randi took over... I buried myself in my blankets... it's now 2:30am.... finally at 3:30am he has given in to sleep. You can not imagine how hard it is to see your child restrained as such! Helpless because there is NOTHING I can do to make him stop.. make him relax... calm him.... rationalize with him.... I AM HELPLESS! Mom's are supposed to fix everything and make it better... this was totally out of my control and that was the worst feeling ever! I was aggravated, angry, sad..... you name it... I was feeling it! His hostility seems to be getting worse and each new day scares me as to what is yet to come of this stage and how long it will last! PRAYER WARRIORS..... PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE PRAY!! For Alex, me and Randi! Brooks and Nick are getting a taste this weekend of what we have been going thru and they are freaked out, lol! Whatever you get from this blog.... intensify it 100 times, lol! There are no words to describe enough detail what all goes on behind closed doors here 24-7! I try my best but I doubt I could achieve it to the level that it is at this point.
Tomorrow we are going on an outing with Brooks.... pray that Alex's brain injury allows us to enjoy ourselves. I continue to take myself back to day one... 3 hours to live.... I asked God to give me my son back and I could deal with whatever is to come.... GOD... with YOU I can get thru this! We are survivors and that's what we are doing... SURVIVING! I have complete faith in you that you will get us thru this storm we are in.... THIS TOO SHALL PASS and I am 100% CONFIDENT that Alex will be back to his normal self in no time! ME, ALEX AND J.C...... WE GOT THIS!
I have visitors coming with dinner so I will close for now... if not late I will get on and post pics of the Save and Shave and my HANDSOME boys....THANK YOU TO ALL WHO CAME OUT.... SUPPORTED and cheered for Alex's recovery! HE IS A MIRACLE and God... I do thank you for that!!!