On January 6th, 2010 Alex suffered a gunshot wound to the head...given 3 HOURS TO LIVE ....this is our story of survival and how God continues to work in and through our lives!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

BRICK WALLS every where I turned today!

So today was one of THOSE days..... one of those days where I feel like NOONE wants to help me and that everyone wants to sabotage any type of normalcy or ease I try to have in my daily life.  Can I get ONE person who is willing to go a little above and beyond or not even so much that... dang ... just do your JOB!  I had the ENT appt on what... Oct 4th?.... yes... and I needed the base (NAS JAX) to send the referral to TriCare for authorization to travel up to GA to Emery University for the second opinion on what needs to be done to get the trach out.  Long story short... last week I called to follow up on things... Ms. L ( we will call her that) says that they never received any paper work from Dr. Beck can I have them refax it?  Sure... I call Dr. Becks office and they are more than happy to refax it.  I wait till the next day to call to check the status... Ms L says that she still never received it.  She gave me a fax number again....says she will be waiting for it.....I call Dr. Becks office back... AND I KNOW THEY FAXED IT... but I asked again, gave the fax number and waited.   Ms L calls me back and says she has it in hand and will take care of it immediately.  YESTERDAY,  I called Tri Care to follow up and see what was taking so long..... they had NO RECORD of any request submitted since June for Alex's surgery.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  TODAAAAAAAAAAAAY, I call Ms. L... AGAIN.... I ask her if she followed up with that request.... "can you hold one moment while I check on that?"....."sure".... 9 minutes and 43 seconds later.. I HANG UP. (BRICK WALL ONE) I call back.... Ms. L answers again...she is still looking for paperwork... I know that I also need to make an appt and have to speak with another lady Ms. R so I ask if I can speak to her while she continues to check.... "hold one moment please, I will transfer you"  on hold 7 minutes this time.(BRICK WALL TWO) . I HANG UP.  I call back...Ms. L answers and before she can say anything... "listen... I am on a cell phone driving and I cannot continue to hold like this"... " ok give me your number and I will have Ms. R call you back".  "thank you".  2 hours go by... no call....(BRICK WALL THREE)  I CALL BACK.  Ms. R answers the phone this time, I tell her about the whole ordeal but that I also need to make an appt for Alex to get a physical before he can get his botox injections next week.  The hospital has it scheduled for tuesday Nov 2nd however they can't get me in for physical until Tuesday Nov. 2nd so I have to reschedule Botox injections. (BRICK WALL FOUR)  Any who.... we make the physical appt and I ask her if she can help with the authorization.... she walks over to Ms. L and she tells her that I am on the phone checking on the authorization request.... I then hear her ask the Dr. if she has seen any request paperwork come across her desk for Alex Ross.... the Doctor replies "NO"..... ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Then Ms. R says to Ms. L..... here is Ms. Dillard, you can speak to her about what is going on with the authorization.  She gets on the phone..... Ms. Dillard.... you are calling about the request for Alex for the 2nd opinion for Emery (at this point I feel like she is stalling... just tell me you lost the damn paperwork already... but she doesn't).... guess what she says.... "the other line is ringing.... can you hold one moment please?"  (BRICK WALL FIVE)  I HUNG UP!  AT THIS POINT... FED UP, PISSED OFF AND READY TO CHEW SOMEONE OUT!!! I call back..... Ms. R answers the phone...THANK YOU GOD... and before she can speak .... "Ms. R.... this is Lisa Dillard again... Alex's mom... can you PLEASE PLEASE help me because I am not dealing or talking to Ms. L ANYMORE... she has put me on hold for like 40 minutes total today and is wasting my time.... I just need some help.  I will be happy to have the ENT fax YOU the paper so that YOU can give it to the doctor just tell me what you need from me".  "Ms. Dillard... yes!  If you will please have the ENT refax it to this number and put to my attention I will take care of it for you.".... "Will you please call me back once you have it in your hand?"  "yes mam"..... we hang up... I call Dr. Beck's office... WONDERFUL LADIES THEY ARE.... LOVE THEM... graciously say ok they get the file while I am on the phone and fax it at that point!  10 minutes later I get a call from (Ms. R) ROSEMARY...she has it in hand and is going to push it through as fast as she can because of all the trouble I have had.  THANK YOU ROSEMARY.... you were my angel today and I appreciate you and your willingness to help this poor stressed out mom today!!!   ROSEMARY probably doesn't read my blog but if any of you know a Rosemary that works at the primary care desk at NAS Jax... let her know for me how much I appreciated her today!

Why do people have to make things so difficult for me when I have enough on my plate as it is??? Maybe we need to start some pay it forward again because nothing was going my way for some reason!  If you drop the ball then just admit it and let's move on.... I wasted 40 minutes of my life today and I don't have 40 minutes of my precious time to WASTE!

On a good note... to focus on the positives of today after all that mess.... we decorated Alex's wheelchair for FLA/GA WEEKEND.  LOVE THE WAY IT TURNED OUT!  Thank you Boo for your help today... momma loves you!

He picked out a banana suit for Halloween sooooo you may see him friday night strollin around in his gator wheelchair in a banana suit, hahahahaha!!  WE WILL MAKE SURE HE HAS A BLAST THIS WEEKEND!

Cameron came home with Brooks today to hang out with Alex and then his momma.... my sweet sweet friend Theresa came with Caitlyn and pumpkin bread to hang out with ME!  Gosh I miss that!  At one point we had so many friends around us we couldn't keep up and now the dust has settled.... everyone has gone back to their every day lives and we really miss our friends :0(  We used to have so many visitors I remember having to put on the blog that you had to make an appointment, lol.  Now I AM calling people to see if I can get them out here, hahahahaha.  Sad but true.  Where are all of Alex's friends now?  Now he is awake and can actually ENJOY their company... they are nowhere to be found.  There were 100's at the hospital..... hundreds while at Brooks inpatient.  Funny how things change.  It bothers me some.... mostly because I am sad for him.  He can't just get in his car and go visit someone ..... Brooks and I are his best friends now and it saddens me.  Because of his trach and the current bathroom situation... I can't just let him go off with his friends unless Brooks goes... so it's just hard to see him miss out on so much which are supposed to be the best years of his life.   We try to make the best of it and he never really complains ....THANK GOD.  He is begging to go and visit the school soon so I will have to make that happen within the next couple of weeks for him.  Its getting late... We have to be up 7am early for Chemistry..... going to close for now.

Wishing you all a safe and happy weekend.  If you are going downtown.... look for us... you can't miss Alex in his wheelchair!!  Make sure you say hey!  :0)



Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Three words... TRAUMATIC Brain Injury

Outward appearance can deceive how things REALLY are on the inside... Three words... Traumatic Brain Injury.... PLEASE remember this when dealing with my boy!  He is NOT the same boy that you may remember .... His thought processes are different, he has no filter, he has no rationale, he is impulsive, very impatient, OCD, NO concept of time, repetitive and speaks and acts without realizing what he is saying or doing most of the time..... Presenting the other side of the coin....my 4 year old.  It might help to read up on brain injuries to understand his fb posts or why he texts you the same thing 9 times in a row within a 20 second period....why he may call you and ask you a question then hang up on you after you answer him.....why he calls you 20 times while you are on your way to visit because in his mind it has been 3 hours and in reality maybe 10 minutes....and why he has to have everything done in the multiples of three.  He kisses Brooks everynight before going to bed... 3 times on the forehead, 3 times on the left cheek and then 3 times on the right cheek.  He has to have his food heated up for 23 seconds, he can only have 3 ice cubes, he clicks his right foot rest on his wheelchair when he gets in it 9 times ( this is the most aggravating of all OCD things to all of us, lol).....YES ... he is ALIVE and I thank God for that everyday but what I want those of you who are in contact with him day to day.... he looks as if nothing is wrong and that he is completely healed.... he is NOT on the inside.... and still has a long way to go.  I spoke to a new friend today... Mr. Phil... met him at Brooks Rehab... his son was shot in the head while hunting....to my dismay, it took his son 3-4 years to fully cognitively (mentally) heal.  3-4 years OMG!  Can I really keep this up that long?  My mom and Brooks watched Alex the other day while I went to a Dr. appt.  When I got home... hahahahahahaha.... they both looked as if they had survived a train wreck... mentally and physically... 4 hours!  I do this 24-7.... welcome to my world.  Of course.. he is my son and mother to mother... you all know we have the patience of a saint when it comes to our OWN children.  Brooks couldn't wait to get to football practice and take out his aggression and aggravation on the field, lol.  I had to say..."Boo... go back to day one".  I have to do that all the time with myself.  Mom.... well... she is awesome but probably getting too old to have to deal with the likes of Mr. Ross, lol.  He will slap wear you out!  Fix my pillow, I'm thirsty, I gotta pee, fix my pillows again, I'm hungry, take off my sock it hurts my foot, please scratch my right arm, pull my boxers out, I gotta poop, my pillows aren't right, can we go visit so and so tomorrow..... all this within a 2 minute period and I'm still working on the first or second request lol!  He watches the same shows over and over... he records them and then watches them probably 6 times a day and rewinds to the part he likes the best over and over....until I can't take it anymore or I delete it hee hee.  Point being... to talk to him or see him you think he is the old Alex but what I want you to realize is that he is not... not even close.  Please don't take what he says personal...please be patient with him....please try to understand he is getting better but it will be awhile that you may have to dealwith the way he is for the time being.  His phone is his life line.... he has access to all with his iphone.  I cannot monitor what he says on fb all day long.. I have too much other stuff to do.  Half of what he says on there are movie quotes and personal jokes between he and Brooks.  If he is short with you or says something off key... let it roll off your shoulder... for he honestly probably doesn't realize that he has said or done something to upset a NORMAL person.  He is very kind hearted and when brought to his attention he is genuinely sorry.... I guess I'm just trying to make YOU all understand where he is coming from in HIS NEW WORLD.


What Disabilities Can Result From a TBI?

Disabilities resulting from a TBI depend upon the severity of the injury, the location of the injury, and the age and general health of the patient. Some common disabilities include problems with cognition (thinking, memory, and reasoning), sensory processing (sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell), communication (expression and understanding), and behavior or mental health (depression, anxiety, personality changes, aggression, acting out, and social inappropriateness).

Within days to weeks of the head injury approximately 40 percent of TBI patients develop a host of troubling symptoms collectively called postconcussion syndrome (PCS). A patient need not have suffered a concussion or loss of consciousness to develop the syndrome and many patients with mild TBI suffer from PCS. Symptoms include headache, dizziness, vertigo (a sensation of spinning around or of objects spinning around the patient), memory problems, trouble concentrating, sleeping problems, restlessness, irritability, apathy, depression, and anxiety. These symptoms may last for a few weeks after the head injury. The syndrome is more prevalent in patients who had psychiatric symptoms, such as depression or anxiety, before the injury. Treatment for PCS may include medicines for pain and psychiatric conditions, and psychotherapy and occupational therapy todevelop coping skills.

Cognition is a term used to describe the processes of thinking, reasoning, problem solving, information processing, and memory. Most patients with severe TBI, if they recover consciousness, suffer from cognitive disabilities, including the loss of many higher level mental skills. The most common cognitive impairment among severely head-injured patients is memory loss, characterized by some loss of specific memories and the partial inability to form or store new ones. Some of these patients may experience post-traumatic amnesia (PTA) , either anterograde or retrograde. Anterograde PTA is impaired memory of events that happened after the TBI, while retrograde PTA is impaired memory of events that happened before the TBI.

Many patients with mild to moderate head injuries who experience cognitive deficits become easily confused or distracted and have problems with concentration and attention. They also have problems with higher level, so-called executive functions, such as planning, organizing, abstract reasoning, problem solving, and making judgments, which may make it difficult to resume pre-injury work-related activities. Recovery from cognitive deficits is greatest within the first 6 months after the injury and more gradual after that.

The most common cognitive impairment among severely head-injured patients is memory loss, characterized by some loss of specific memories and the partial inability to form or store new ones.

Patients with moderate to severe TBI have more problems with cognitive deficits than patients with mild TBI, but a history of several mild TBIs may have an additive effect, causing cognitive deficits equal to a moderate or severe injury.

Many TBI patients have sensory problems, especially problems with vision. Patients may not be able to register what they are seeing or may be slow to recognize objects. Also, TBI patients often have difficulty with hand-eye coordination. Because of this, TBI patients may be prone to bumping into or dropping objects, or may seem generally unsteady. TBI patients may have difficulty driving a car, working complex machinery, or playing sports. Other sensory deficits may include problems with hearing, smell, taste, or touch. Some TBI patients develop tinnitus, a ringing or roaring in the ears. A person with damage to the part of the brain that processes taste or smell may develop a persistent bitter taste in the mouth or perceive a persistent noxious smell. Damage to the part of the brain that controls the sense of touch may cause a TBI patient to develop persistent skin tingling, itching, or pain. Although rare, these conditions are hard to treat.

Language and communication problems are common disabilities in TBI patients. Some may experience aphasia , defined as difficulty with understanding and producing spoken and written language; others may have difficulty with the more subtle aspects of communication, such as body language and emotional, non-verbal signals.
In non-fluent aphasia , also called Broca's aphasia or motor aphasia, TBI patients often have trouble recalling words and speaking in complete sentences. They may speak in broken phrases and pause frequently. Most patients are aware of these deficits and may become extremely frustrated. Patients with fluent aphasia , also called Wernicke's aphasia or sensory aphasia, display little meaning in their speech, even though they speak in complete sentences and use correct grammar. Instead, they speak in flowing gibberish, drawing out their sentences with non-essential and invented words. Many patients with fluent aphasia are unaware that they make little sense and become angry with others for not understanding them. Patients with global aphasia have extensive damage to the portions of the brain responsible for language and often suffer severe communication disabilities. ( THIS IS NOT ALEX, BUT OUR FRIEND ROCKY BACK IN BROOKS INPATIENT, LOL)

TBI patients may have problems with spoken language if the part of the brain that controls speech muscles is damaged. In this disorder, called dysarthria , the patient can think of the appropriate language, but cannot easily speak the words because they are unable to use the muscles needed to form the words and produce the sounds. Speech is often slow, slurred, and garbled. Some may have problems with intonation or inflection, called prosodic dysfunction . An important aspect of speech, inflection conveys emotional meaning and is necessary for certain aspects of language, such as irony.

Most TBI patients have emotional or behavioral problems that fit under the broad category of psychiatric health. Family members of TBI patients often find that personality changes and behavioral problems are the most difficult disabilities to handle. Psychiatric problems that may surface include depression, apathy, anxiety, irritability, anger, paranoia, confusion, frustration, agitation, insomnia or other sleep problems, and mood swings. Problem behaviors may include aggression and violence, impulsivity, disinhibition, acting out, noncompliance, social inappropriateness, emotional outbursts, childish behavior, impaired self-control, impaired self awareness, inability to take responsibility or accept criticism, egocentrism, inappropriate sexual activity, and alcohol or drug abuse/addiction. Some patients' personality problems may be so severe that they are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, a psychiatric condition characterized by many of the problems mentioned above. Sometimes TBI patients suffer from developmental stagnation, meaning that they fail to mature emotionally, socially, or psychologically after the trauma. This is a serious problem for children and young adults who suffer from a TBI. Attitudes and behaviors that are appropriate for a child or teenager become inappropriate in adulthood. Many TBI patients who show psychiatric or behavioral problems can be helped with medication and psychotherapy.

WHEW... did you get all that???  Maybe that will help you a little when dealing with him or being around him.... Or just make you understand what I deal with on a daily basis on top of everything else going on in our lives.

His brain still does not tell him when he is full... prime example that he still has a long way to go.... the other day I let him go to the football park while Brooks practiced.  His friends pushed him around... he went to where the cheerleaders practice (of course) and while he was there with his friends... he had 6 SNICKERS candy bars... REALLY?  6????  And his friends didn't think anything of it????? 6???  He has to be monitored at all times and you think you are being mean by saying NO you cant have that... but really you are hurting him by NOT telling him no in this scenario.  Sooo many quirky things that we,at home, deal with on a daily basis.  We're all crazy around here, lol and half the time I can't remember what I said 5 seconds ago... but I assure you somehow... my little rainman can!  He can remember everyone's names he meets!  I look at their lips, say it over in my head 3 times so I can remember.. and I have forgotten it by the time our conversation starts, hahahahahaha!  I know I'm crazy because of all this!  There is a chance for Alex to recover... me...probably not so much ha ha!

I have gotten back these grades thus far:  History and Health I haven't heard yet.. should know by Friday but I am thinking he made A-B honor roll... heck I'm impressed just with what I have seen already!  SO PROUD OF YOU ALEX MICHAEL ROSS!  To Miss Zember, Kinlin, Miss Macy and BS .... thank you!  THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND COMPASSION when dealing with him in school... Lord knows I KNOW it isn't easy and challenging on a best day!  We couldn't do it without you!  He is an amazing little fellow and yes has truly come a LONG way since January 6th... THANK YOU GOD!


My little coo coo bird... I love you.  Thank you God for one more day with my handsome boy!


Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Brooks came to therapy after school with us on Friday and it was basically Alex's "show on the road" day because all he did was try to make Brooks laugh the WHOLE time we were there!  He had us cracking up the whole time.  Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the roses, lol.  I don't feel like he got much accomplished but it was great to see him back to his old self cutting up and laughing!

After a great weekend, Alex was kicking butt at therapy today!  SO PROUD!  He walked around the building at Brooks (inside) 3 times today and faster than normal!  Work in progress but definitely improving right before my very eyes.


I don't have his grades back yet.... shouldn't be long now... in the next couple of days and then we can all rejoice together at how amazing it is that he is doing all he is doing and retaining... 10 mos later!!  THANK YOU GOD....AMEN!

We have therapy today, school Thursday morning and then he is done for the week because of all the festivities. Getting ready for the big weekend.... FLA/GA... we will be downtown tailgating with Chad's family.  Going to decorate Alex's wheelchair for him and pimp it out with as much blue and orange as I can :0)  You may see him strolling the streets with Brooks and Nick... make sure you stop to say hello and introduce yourself if he doesn't do it to you first, lol.  He will be in hog heaven down there with all the people.... so many to share his story with, ha ha!  Heck you might even get a glimpse of him walking if you are lucky!  He likes to show off for sure!!

The "Celebration of Life" HOMECOMING PARTY is coming together and will be held on Saturday- January 8th, marking the one year anniversary of that fateful day.  The location is not set in stone just yet.... waiting for approval before I release that information.  I still need volunteers and organizational committee peeps if you are interested, please email me with Celebration of Life in the subject line so I can keep all those emails in a separate folder.  If you know any bands that would be interested in joining the bandwagon, please let me know as I am putting together a venue for entertainment.  Also if you have any suggestions or know of any places willing to donate items for drawings that day.....please email me so we can make this a huge fun event for all ages!

Going to close for now.... school is in session and I need to supervise and make sure he is paying attention..... NOT!  Keep those prayers coming....every little bit helps and Lord knows we still have a long road ahead of us.



Thursday, October 21, 2010





The picture above says it all.  My heart ached for the family.... Diena especially and this ceremony hit close to home for me.  This could very well be me mourning the loss of my son a year later....The singing of "You are my Sunshine" only brought back vivid memories of that first night as I kept singing that to Alex over and over again.... hoping he might hear me and fight death with everything he had.....apparently he heard me :0)

Even though I have not experienced the loss that Diena has, I can connect with her on a whole different level after going thru what I have the past 9.5 months.  I thought I had lost Alex the first night..... given three hours to live.....one of a mother's worst nightmares to lose a child.  It was a very emotional ceremony and I am sooooo glad that we went and were a part of it.  I am honored that we were chosen as THIER VIP Guests and were treated like Rock Star's with a security guard and front lawn seating and all, lol.  Alex did his "thang" and brought joy to a somber event as people came up and hugged him and were truly excited to meet him.  As soon as he opened his mouth and spoke... people's faces would light up like a christmas tree.....too see him in person and see the beauty of God's miracle is amazing and something for all to see and experience.  A whole different ball game to see it in person than just reading about it on here.  He passed out purple ribbons we made and told the girls he gave them to that "only the pretty girl get these", hahahahaha.  He gave Diena a kiss on her cheek and then told her he needed one on his...... she fell for it... HE GOT HER ON THE LIPS... little stinker, ha ha.  She cracked up and it was great to see her smile and laugh on a day that she much needed it. Thank you to all who made us feel so special at this event.... Diena & Kimberly... thank you for having us as your special guests. We have formed a special bond with you and you will forever be part of our family.

Alex keeps asking me about his coming home party..... and I think it would be appropriate to do it around January 6th....ONE YEAR LATER as a celebration of life, as Chad calls it.... if you will.  He should be walking much better by then.....how awesome would that be?!!!  I have some ideas.... I'm going to put together a "party committee" and we will make it a HUGE CELEBRATION OF LIFE!  Let me know if you are interested and if you have any ideas.  If you have any connections with the Equestrian Center.... please let me know as that is one of the spots I am thinking of holding it at.  Then all of you will have the chance to come up and introduce yourself as one of his prayer warriors and my angels :0)  I am still waiting for authorization from TriCare before I can travel up to GA for a second opinion regarding the removal of the trach at Emery University... hoping to go at least by the first week of November.

Below is video from yesterdays occupational therapy.  She has a glove on his hand with numbers on the board that he has to try to make his hand touch as she calls out the number.  It's a slow process with that arm but it is coming around, slowly but surely, and I still look for a full recovery.  We are looking to schedule another Botox injection treatment the beginning of next month and hopefully that will enable this arm to continue on track!

I want to give a special thanks to today to the CLOUGH family for all their efforts in putting together a fundraiser for Alex at the beginning of this month.  They put on a benefit concert and all monies collected were going straight to Alex.  Thank you to the Bands... THE PINZ... LIVICATION..... VAGRANT UNDERTOW..... JEREMY BAKER of Whaleface and SUNBURST STUDIOS!!!  YOU ROCK!!
Your donation is very very much appreciated and paid for 1/3 of his first botox treatment....SO THANK YOU!!!  The procedure is a little over $10,000 each time he gets it and our portion after insurance is about $950.00 ....THANK GOD!    We think he will probably have 4-5 of these treatments total so every little bit helps a Great Deal!    THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART ......Your thoughtfulness and generosity are greatly appreciated and Alex can't wait to meet all of you! It's nice to know we still have fans out there that are still praying for us and reading the blog!  Speaking of the blog.... I have a cute story to share with all of you that really touched my heart.  This is an email sent from one of our fans early this week and it was too cute not to share with all of you!

Hi Lisa, 
I have been reading your blog for about 8 months now (give or take a little bit) From time to time when I am reading your blog my 5 year old has been sitting with or around me so he knows who Alex is when I am reading your blog. He has asked what happened to Alex. I tried to play it down for him so he doesn't get to scared so I just tell him Alex got a really bad boo-boo on his head and when that happened his brain forgot how to tell Alex how to walk and now he is relearning how to walk again. So today as I was reading your blog and watching the videos my 5 year old (Timothy) comes around the corner and our conversation went like this....

Timothy: Mommy, Is that Alex?
Me: Yes, Baby it is. You see what he is doing?
Timothy: Yea, Is that his nurse?
Me: Yes, it is....What do you think?
Timothy: Mommy! Alex is walking by himself! He isn't in that stroller with the big wheels (Wheel chair) anymore?
Me: Nope, no wheelchair, he is walking! Isn't that Awesome?
Timothy: Yes! Mommy, Jesus is healing him!

I told him that Jesus is healing Alex and we just need to remember to continue to keep praying for Alex so he can run around and play football like he used to. 

I just thought that might brighten your day to know that even the small ones are praying for Alex and know that God is doing a mighty work in his life. 
Thanks for letting me share!

God Bless,

THANK YOU Misty for sharing that with me..... tears streamed down my face as I read this and it brought joy to my heart.  You certainly made my day!!

I know I don't blog as much as I used to.... I feel like I might be boring you all sometimes with things going on in my life, so I try to keep the focus on Alex and how he is progressing.  It has become a little more difficult to write, Alex is very demanding of my time and I really have NO FREE TIME.... maybe I can set days like while he is doing school on tuesdays and thursdays to blog on those days..... I kinda just wing it and get on here when I can. He is actually calling me now, lol......  gotta run... I should have all of his school grades by the next time I get on.... HE IS DOING FANTABULOUS.... CAN'T WAIT TO SEE all of them and share with you!!  

Have a great day!  Remember to let your light shine.... and smile at a stranger today... it will set a trend of Pay it Forward!


Tuesday, October 19, 2010


I had a rough night last night...Sunday..... looking thru pictures, I started crying and just really really missing the Alex who was! I don't know that I will EVER get over such a HUGE loss.  I guess it started with a conversation he and I had on our way to Target the day before.  He was sitting in the backseat and out of nowhere he says... "Mom... why did I have to get shot?".... what do I say to that???  I said "Alex... God has a plan... I don't have the answers for you... all we can do is trust in him that there is a reason for all that we have been thru".  His response... "I think that's a little over the top don't  you think?"  ... he then says... "I think it's a little extreme".  Funny but NOT... ya know.  I don't have the answers my baby boy is looking for... I wish I did.  I miss his crazy dances... his crazy antics... jumping out and scaring me when I walk out of a room.... our laying in bed watching CSI ( he doesn't like to watch it anymore since this has happened to him... says too much violence and makes him think about him being shot)...... I miss his hair, lol....I miss him running up a tree and doing a back flip off of it......I miss his crazy videos...... just every little thing that was.... I MISS TERRIBLY!  I look on the upside and yes there is soooo many things that I can still see in him.... he still has a great sense of humor.... he shows way more affection to his brothers openly and this has definitely changed his relationship with Nicholas for the better..... he knows NO STRANGERS and LOVES to meet all new people... of course, he didn't really know any strangers before this however he didn't really make initiative to meet them lol.,they just knew and loved him for his crazy antics and dancing :0)   I am very fortunate that his only emotion is happy as it could be a heck of a lot worse .... depressed or sad or mad... i get none of that...THANK YOU GOD!  Impatient is the one thing I have to work on with him.... he still has no recollection of time... 2 minutes is 5 hours to him... LORD HELP US ALL who deal with him on a daily basis, ha ha.

We finally got back into therapy today... we had been out for a week because of crazy killer running around less than a mile from our house... we stayed BUNKERED DOWN AND LOCKED IN!  He sleeps much better now that the crazy is gone which means.. I sleep better too!  Today was a GREAT DAY at therapy and he truly worked hard and made up for the loss of last week.  It seemed like he didn't even miss a beat.  He walked with the therapist for a good 15 minutes just holding her hand which is phenomenal!  He doesn't really have the stamina to walk for long bits like that so I was truly impressed today.  Once he took a water break then he practiced walking with NO HANDS as he calls it and was just being spotted by Miss Christy in case he should fall.  He doesn't trust himself as much as he should and doesn't give himself nearly the credit that he is capable of doing so much more than he does.  We are working on building that confidence so that he trusts that he can walk by himself and doesn't need a cane or a wheelchair... then we can kiss those things goodbye!! YAY!  I filmed a little today... he gives some shoutouts... crazy kid.... see below and enjoy!

I started blogging this yesterday however when I was cooking I clearly forgot that I did not have an oven mit on and burnt the crap out of my left fingers... therefore was left soaking my entire hand in cold water till I fell asleep!

We have personally been invited to attend the Justice for Somer event tonight at OP jr high... we will be attending to pay tribute to that precious little girl.... Alex will have so many to meet and greet and share his miracle story, lol!  As I read over what I wrote yesterday.... funny today I have a different outlook now that we are going to Somer's event.  My whole story could be of a different one and today I am truly grateful for the parts of Alex that I do have with me as I know Diena wishes she could say the same of Somer.  It puts a light on my darkest of days and I will always mourn the loss of who Alex was .... after all I am only human.  I do however give my greatest thanks to GOD for saving my boy and for continuing to perform daily miracles in our lives by Alex's continued progress.  I can't believe it has been a year since Somer went missing.... my heart ached the day she went missing and after all I have gone thru.... even though it isn't even close to the loss that Diena has experienced..... I feel her pain and I grieve with her.  A mother's worst nightmare.... a loss that nothing can replace.... Little Somer... you are an angel in heaven and God... I ask that you please wrap your arms around this momma today and everyday as she lives everyday now without her baby girl and grieving a huge loss in her family.  Lift her up.... let her know you are present and warm her with the memories of a precious little girl who now walks the streets of gold with you!  Diena..... you will see her again one day and what a reunion that will be.  God Bless you and your family as you honor your baby today!  xoxo

Kiss those babies .... hold them tight..... LIVE FOR TODAY.... tomorrow is not promised and once again... your life can change with ONE PHONE CALL!



Please continue to pray for us.... I still have my good days and my bad days.... but will continue to look at my cup as half full and looking forward to the day that my boy is as close to normal as possible!  THANK YOU GOD FOR ONE MORE DAY WITH MY HANDSOME BOY!  :0)

Friday, October 15, 2010


WHAT A CRAZY DAY! Sitting here glued to the TV.... we were ready to go to therapy.. I walked outside to load Alex up in the car.... we hear SIRENS....GUN SHOTS... WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST!!  Craaaaaaazzzzy!    I'm freaking... Alex is freaking.... my girlfriend Kristi that lives up front calls me and says... they got him... he was hiding up in a tree!!  I CAN'T BELEIVE HE WAS STILL HERE IN THIS AREAAAAAA...AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!  We have been on lockdown for the past couple of days... today it is surreal!  I loaded Alex up in the car... we head out down the road to go to therapy and we got to the Kangaroo, a mile down the road.... the one he robbed the other night before he fled... Normandy Blvd is blocked off... no traffic in or out... I decide to turn around because I don't want to be blocked out of the house for the rest of the night... no telling how long this will go on.... as I turn around, the cop shouts at me to come back... "Officer, Please I just live in Winchester and I just want to go back home"... "Ok mam.... go straight there".... HECK YEAH!  We zoom off back to the house... still hear sirens.... cops galore.... aaaaaaaaaaahhhh! We have been freaked out since this whole thing started..... the not knowing where he was... if he was still here in our area.... now to find out he has been here... less than a mile from our house.... HOLY COW!  SURREAL!  What a year 2010 has been for us!
Thank God the lady called in when her dogs started barking!!  I feel like I'm in the TV film COPS....hahahahaha.       I just wanted to get online for a sec while I was in the moment and write, lol.  Taking the boy to the fair tonight.... this should be interesting.... pray for my sanity lol.

THANK YOU JSO and all law enforcement that risked their lives to make sure we are safe!  Now we can sleep at night and relax!!



Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Brooks left for school this morning at about 6:50am and calls me about 5 minutes later to tell me to get up and set the alarm again and make sure all the doors are locked because there is a manhunt going on for someone who killed his own brother, his friend and shot his parents.  He robbed the Kangaroo a mile down the street last night and there were media and cops still there........everywhere.... I think it freaked Brooks out because it was so close!  Sooo I got up, set the alarm, checked all the doors and in my Nyquil state.... went back to sleep lol.  At about 8:30am... Chad get's to work and finds out what all the fuss is about at the Kangaroo and calls me.... to tell me to set the alarm... lol and that there was a killer on the loose around our neighborhood in the woods. Soooo I get back up and set the alarm, now awake and a LITTLE freaked out.   I go to the computer to see what the latest and the greatest update is with the crazy on the loose.  Last seen on 217 which is about a mile opposite of the kangaroo.... on the other side of our neighborhood, lol!  I just can't win today, ha!  JSO cautioned everyone to stay in their homes, locked up tight.... THAT'S JUST WHAT WE DID!  I cancelled therapy... all I could envision was...  open garage..... me trying to get Alex in the car... slow moving.. close the door...roll down the window... place the pillow between his leg and the door.... roll his window up..... get the leg rests off of the wheelchair, pull the cushion off of the wheelchair, oh wait... grab the bag off of the chair....pop the trunk, heave hoe the wheelchair into the trunk, close the trunk and there HE would stand!!  HECK NO!  I wasn't taking any chances today because with the luck I have had lately... it would happen just as I imagined.  We don't do anything fast around here anymore... everything is at a turtle pace so I opted out of leaving the house today.... atleast until Chad got home anyways.  Meanwhile ... my little post traumatic stress disorder child is freaking out ... thinking he see's shadows outside the blinds.... noises... having me look the the blinds every so often... not letting me leave the living room... not even to go to the bathroom!  He called Carly the cop his boo to come over and protect him lol!  As soon as she could... she arrived to protect us and relieve me so that I could go to the restroom.  We stayed in and Alex got ALOT of school work accomplished today we had cabin fever and decided to go out for dinner at Okinawa at Alex's request.  We load up and head out for our nice dinner and God sat us at the table with three Angels.  Kim, Emily and Charlie Stuckey.  Right off the bat you know Alex made a way to converse with them ........ asked Kim her name and from that point on we had made new friends.  As we were boxing up our food, I asked for our check and was told that our new friends had picked up the tab! WHAT A HUGE BLESSING.....God  sent angels our way and I'm still at a loss for words at how he places people in our lives on a daily basis as all part of his plan.  The unimaginable or unthinkable actuall IS!  Thank you Lord for blessing me day after day ..... knowing what we need..... bringing me a smile, a phone call, an email... new friends.... A PICK ME UP.... THANK U!   Thank you STUCKEY family for blessing us with your friendship and an awesome meal.... we truly appreciate your generosity and look forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks for the FL/ GA week!  Sad we missed therapy today... I don't like canceling but he did get a lot of school accomplished today on the upside of things.

Prayer request for my sweet friends, Rhonda and Debbie's Aunt Marylee who is not doing well.  PRAYER WARRIORS GET BUSY PLEASE!

Praying tonight that they catch the crazy running around here and lock him up for good so we can relax and Alex can feel safe.  Lord please watch over all the police out there searching for this man.... protect them while they are trying to protect us.... and please pay special attention to Carly the Cop Alex's boo and keep her out of harms way.  THANK YOU... AMEN!



Tuesday, October 12, 2010


What a whirlwind of a day we had today.  Having school then hair appt and rushing off to make it to take senior pics on time about made me crazy today.  Alex's latest and greatest obsession is "movie quotes".... everything he says is a movie quote.  I can't remember 5 minutes ago let alone movie quotes from every movie we have ever seen!  He is hilarious and most men can relate to him and they can go back and forth quote for quote.  He was a reeling movie line today at Fran's Salon.  What's funny is he laughs at himself, lol... too cute!  Anywho... once out of the hair salon... onto Prestige to get his senior picture for the ED WHITE yearbook taken and picked out.  ALOT harder than I imagined... getting his now "larger" torso into a tux shirt and jacket in a wheel chair....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh.  4 jackets later we got it all figured out.... got the bow tie snapped.... trach hidden and onto take the picture.  MR GQ kept wanting to pose James Bond style...hahahahaha.  We got her to take a picture of him in that pose and then once he saw it he was like..."yeah...that;s the one I want for my yearbook picture"...hahahaha..NOT!

This is the photo he would choose if he had his way, lol.... however this is the photo we went with for the yearbook below:

God forbid he take a picture where he wasn't posing right!!!  He was a hotmess!!!  

THIS IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!  Not a forced smile but a handsome natural gorgeous SMILE!
THANK YOU GOD for making it possible for us to get to this point of our journey. 



Monday, October 11, 2010


We had a crazy weekend.  You know how awesome Friday night was for us..... then Saturday...crazy day came.  We started out with Nick and his roomate from college coming home to attend Brooks' homecoming game.  We loaded up and headed to the park.  We arrive, get Alex out the car in the chair and Aaron lifts the chair back so he can roll Alex up to the bleachers.  Apparently at some point between the car and the bleachers his iphone dropped to the ground....someone picked it up and NEVER turned it in!  5-6 announcements were made... cash reward.... noone came forward!  I think I was more devestated than Alex because his phone is his life line.  He can't just go hang out with his friends, or get in his car and drive to wherever.... this is all he has to the outside world.  I was heartbroken for HIM!  So then for Brooks' entire game.. I didn't get to watch the game... I was looking for the dang phone...wasted my time and missed most of Brooks' game.  Leaving the park, I check my voicemail.... message from Wachovia... My other ATM check card had been hit for another $500!!!  Are you kidding me???  Seriously .... do I not have enough on my plate to deal with???   I made the comment to Kinlin that LSU needed to win after the day I had...and THANK YOU JESUS.... THEY PULLED IT OFF!!!  Just what I needed... a perfect ending to my crappy stressful day!

We had to head back to park for the 6:30pm game where Alex was going to walk Kami Brannon at halftime for the homecoming ceremony. He had been practicing hard so he could walk her for this when she first asked him if he would do it.  HE DID FANTASTIC....Once again... he amazed us all and I'm so proud of how far he has come and how hard he continues to work at therapy.  He walked just holding Kampbell's hand!! Here are some pics from saturday nights game:

and Brooks walked Kami's cousin Cameron

What a proud momma I was watching my two handsome boys!  Alex really shined this weekend and I am still beaming like a proud peacock!  

Tomorrow he has school, then we have hair appointment with Miss Lauren to get his hair did to go and take his SENIOR PICTURES.... YAY!!!  I figure if maybe if she does it and all the ladies at Fran's Salon tell him how awesome he looks, then he will be ok with taking pics without his ball cap...PRAY FOR THIS :0)  Hopefully tomorrow I will posting pics of him with his hair did, lol!

He is calling me so I have to go fix his pilloooowwsssss....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh .... 



Saturday, October 9, 2010


If you were one of the lucky ones to be there and see it with your own eyes.... HOW AMAZING WAS THAT?!  We went to homecoming ceremony for Brooks football team at Normandy Athletic Association and they started out the ceremony by honoring Alex and presented him with his #3 Normandy Jersey framed... AWESOME.  As they told his story, we walked hand in hand...no cane....no chair... side by side, hand in hand we walked onto the field to receive his gift.  The crowd cheering and clapping.... the cheerleaders chanting "We are proud of you, say we are proud of you".... chills up and down my entire body..... tears of joy for my handsome boy.  He stops to wave his hand at the crowd..... blow some kisses their way.... shakes his butt and does a little jig.... HE IS A HOT MESS!  He was eating it up and cracking me up!  He kept asking me if they were going to call his name out during the ceremony and I just said... I'm not sure but if they do, are you ready to show them how far you've come and walk holding my hand?.... IT WAS AN AMAZING FEELING to see him and feel GOD'S presence on that field last night.  3 days over 9 months and my son is walking by the grace of GOD!  It's a slow pace and we still have a very long way to go but it is the beginning of NO MORE WHEELCHAIR and that much closer to being back to the somewhat normal Alex and becoming more independent!  I bet there were more wet eyes than dry in seeing how far my handsome boy has progressed at Superman Speed!  A huge thank you to Shannon Cone, Brooks' team mom.... who has loved my boys as if they were her very own for many years now and has always gone above and beyond her call of duty.  I love you Miss Shannon and can't thank you enough for all you have done and continue to do not only for my boys but the entire Cowboy team.  You are one in a million and we are truly blessed by your friendship!  NAA thank you for your continued love and support for my entire family.... always accommodating Alex when we get to the park and going out of your way to make sure he has exactly what he needs!  It's the little things in life these days that seem to matter the most and those of you at the park that go out of your way for my Alex.... GOD BLESS YOU.  It makes all the hard work, sleepless nights, hectic and stressful days all seem to fade when people reach out and show us a little kindness and generosity. A smile... a pat on the back... a "hi, how are ya'll doing"... a watermelon slushy for Alex,lol.... goes a LONG way for us.  Last nights feeling will never leave my body and makes it all worth the heartache I have been put thru worth the while.  THANK YOU.... THANK YOU....THANK YOU!  Thank YOU God for your continued miracles in our everyday life..... YOU never cease to amaze me with your almighty Grace!
Enjoy the pics below.... SEEING IS BELIEVING.....God has been working wonders on my boy!




Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Today Alex did an amazing feat of practicing walking by himself.... no cane!  I was in front of him so I didn't get to video but I can't wait to show you!  You can see a little bit of him walking by himself holding the golf club..... hoping to show you more next week.  Every day he gets a little bit braver and braver having more confidence in himself....something I admire most about him.  Always pushing the envelope... with me, lol and at therapy.  Therapy works in his favor.... not so much with me, ha!  Today was one of those days that I needed time away.... time to take a breath.... regroup....walk away from the child as Alex used to say, lol.  ONE OF THOSE DAYS where nothing started out right... technical difficulties getting online to start school.... argumentative....he just couldn't grasp that we couldn't connect to the internet because of the internet... it was because of the computer we were on and he kept arguing with me to just get another computer...aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!  MAKE ME CRAZY!  I had my 4 year old today and it was a challenge.  We worked thru it and onto therapy where he shined of course!

I don't have a date yet as to when we travel to GA... we are just waiting on insurance authorization :0)

We are in the discussion of another botox procedure at the end of this month as that will be the 3 month period and his occupational therapist said today he seems to be getting tighter again.... WE DON'T WANT THAT.  I want him to have the procedure before the botox totally goes away.  Lots to get taken care of this month!

Therapy is booked for the rest of the week so we have no more therapy until Monday... CRAZY!  Sooo, I won't have much to blog about until then so I may not get on here unless something of particular interest pops up..... sorry.    Maybe I can just get on and post something inspirational for me as well, lol.  I may get stir crazy!

Have a great day!


Monday, October 4, 2010


Well well well what do you know... the trach isn't ready to come out yet!  Good news is that the polyp is gone and the scar tissue is coming back HOWEVER it looks really good compared to what they thought it would look like!  We taped the video as she was looking down his nose into this throat at the airway.

The opening looks good however the airway is still not quite big enough and there is significant scar tissue banding blocking the airway that needs to  addressed.  Since Dr. Beck's hand is recovering from a wrist break and it may be a month or so before he can actually operate on Alex, he suggested we think about a 2nd opinion in the mean time and go up to Emery University to see what they have to say.  He suggested a stint that keeps the airway open, he would laser a slice to seperate the banding then place the stint to keep the scar tissue from banding back together.  The stint stays in for abou 10-12 weeks then Alex would have to have ANOTHER surgery to remove the stint. NOW.... the tricky part of all this is... the stint would actually stick out from the trach or throat area...not really clear on that part and since it would be keeping the two sides from joining.... there would be NO VOICE during this time because the vocal chords would not be able to come together to make noise.  Lot's to think about... you know I will leave no stone unturned when it comes to the best possible scenario for Alex and his recovery.  I will go to California if I must, lol.... hahahahahaha wouldn't that be just God awful lol!  Soooo, the ENT is contacting Emery University and giving them Alex's case, notes and file... making him the first available appt and we will travel to HOTLANTA for our 2nd opinion.  

From there we went on to grab a bite to eat in the mall and decided on a pedicure for MY therapy!  While there Alex also wanted one so we sat him down and he got his RIGHT foot done, lol.  He had those ladies laughing the whole time.  First of all.... the are vietnamese and he kept asking them if they spoke Philipinno and if they talked behind peoples backs while they were sitting in the chairs. He said..."you know like... OMG look at the ugly feet on this woman"...hahahahahaha.  He then proceeds to pull out his iphone and play this:

They were cracking up... he kept asking them if that is what they do and so on and so on!  They didn't know what hit them when we came walking in,lol!  They were teaching him how to say "I love you" in vietnamese and he was asking each lady their American name and their vietnamese name...hahahahaha.... HE WAS A HOT MESS FO SHO!!  I wish I would have taken video of him because it was PRICELESS!

Brooks had a mishap at his game on Saturday and we had a bit of a scare.  They traveled to Tallahassee for his football game and played a team that played down and dirty.  They grabbed his helmet (facemask) and turned his helmet completely to the side and with that, the kids fingers went into Brooks' mouth and CUT all across his gums above his front teeth... leaving it bleeding and swollen.... NASTY.  Today he had to take a trip to the Dentist with Dana's help and was told that he will need to be seen again in two weeks to see if he will need a root canal.  No antibiotics needed which is what I thought we would need.... we just have to keep a watchful eye on it.  I PRAY FOR NO INFECTION OR ROOT CANAL...PLEASE LORD :0)

I put the status of the trach on my facebook today and got some responses from friends about being disappointed about the trach and asking how I was handling the news.  I will tell you... I'm at peace with this... I sit here and look back at all we have been thru and you know what... it's just a trach!  It's not the end of the world!  HE IS WALKING WITH A CANE BY GOD....what could I be complaining of????  HE IS ALIVE AND WITTY AND SPUNKY....THANK YOU GOD!  I'll deal with the stupid trach... it's just an inconvenience to me....a distraction from FULL recovery but I'll deal with it.  The ENT said it WILL COME OUT eventually... Alex is just a special case as is his story!  ALL IN GOD'S TIME.... it will come out.  Summer is over... we don't need to go swimming, lol... its all GOOD!  WE met a new friend today... she has been following our story and was TRULY TOUCHED when she met Alex in person... so much that it brought tears to her eyes and she was just AMAZED at how together Alex really was in person.  I think that is my favorite part about all of this is seeing people's faces when they realize who he is and just what God has done with his little miracle boy!  You won't believe it until you see it!  He asked me about his homecoming party this past weekend and I do still need to do that as there are so many of you who are still VERY SUPPORTIVE and just in awe of what God has done.  He is a little quirky and says exactly what is on his mind whether you want to hear it or not, lol.... but amazing amazing of how far we have come since January.  I hate that trach but my son is alive and I have God to thank for that... some nurses and doctors along the way...with some awesome family and friends!  TOGETHER we all have gotten Alex where he is today.  You prayer warriors out there... you played a huge part in that too...THANK YOU!  Thank you for picking me up when I am down...thank you for always encouraging and uplifting me just at the right moments with your emails....THEY WORK!  My emails are slim pickings these days as I knew it would slowly diminish.... there are still those couple of "know it alls" that insist on sharing their NEGATIVE opinions believe it or not.... funny though... now...they make me laugh because THEY HAVE NO IDEA OF WHAT THEY ARE SPEAKING.  So for those of you out there who feel the need to tell me about myself.... save your time.  Go open your bible, if you have one...... and ask for forgiveness of JUDGING.  Your emails make me laugh.....remember who you are writing and that GOD is by my side so you can't touch this! :0)  You are wasting precious time that is a gift.... choose your time more wisely.  Until you have walked in my shoes, save your breath... YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

Soooooooooo all in all today.... no I didn't get the answer that I wanted in regards to the trach but I have so very much to be thankful for and THAT IS WHAT I AM FOCUSING ON!  Not to mention I am looking forward to seeing the TRAHAN clan and some very missed friends in Atlanta!  ROAAAAAAADTRIP!! :0)

I am thinking that if we have another surgery... we will plan it after thanksgiving being we are traveling to New Jersey this year for that ... ALEX INSISTED! :0)  Life is too short.....marking it off of his bucket list and looking forward to family and a trip into NYC as the boys have never been!  What a crazy crazy year.....Thank you God for my many blessings.... it hasn't been easy and lots of days are harder than others....but with you by my side I know that I can conquer anything.  JESUS...YOU COMPLETE ME!



WOW... I feel like it's been forever since I have been able to get on here!  Alex's computer is down, the hard drive is bad and we are waiting on a new one and a tech to come and install it.  On the phone with dell the past week, not a fun experience and Chad still has a few choice words for them. WE bought the accidental insurance package so we THOUGHT everything was covered... only you have to have a software service plan to be able to talk to someone to find out what is wrong with your computer... 269.00 for a year!  Sooo in order for them to tell me it was the hard drive I had to talk to tech support which cost me 269 for a year to run a diagnostic test and say that it was the hardware which is still covered under the original warranty so I should get my money back right?  Think again!  Had the original operator ran a diagnostic test prior to sending me to tech support then I wouldn't have needed the software service package and because they are a individual company who provides the tech support for Dell and they took my call... I must be charged.  WHAT THE HECK???  They made the software pkg support sound great because you can use it on all your dell computers... only they don't tell you that only get to use it 4 times!!! That's right ... 269 for a year but you can only call in 4 times!!  They didn't mention that until AFTER I was charged!   I'M OVER DELL RIGHT NOW TRUST ME!

My computer is running slow but I am making it work tonight so that I can blog!  I am uploading video of Alex's last occupational therapy but it tells me it has 136 minutes so I doubt I will get it on here tonight, lol.

Alex is doing great... walking around the house with his cane more and more... wheelchair less and less.  Not that he doesn't try us with the wheelchair... sometimes he is lazy and wants it but we just say it's easier for us if  he walks with us or with his cane.  Hopefully we will get to where it isn't even an issue and he won't wanna use the chair only for LONG walks... not to and from the bathroom around here lol.  WE had Friday off because we didn't have insurance authorization yet for more treatments at Brooks so we focused on some school to be able to get it all completed by October 22nd.  It's kicking my butt to juggle and find time to insert school with therapy with cooking and cleaning.... MY HOUSE IS A WRECK!  I finally folded 5 loads of laundry this morning thanks to Kinlin coming over and saying let's just do it while I am here!  I probably would have put it off again.  I told ya'll my house would be a little messier these days because I ain't sweating the small stuff.... however I haven't had a chance to do JACK around here.  I need to hit the lotto so I can have a nanny for my 17 year old who cooks and cleans as well lol!

School is going good for Alex, I believe he has all A;s and B;s right now in his classes.  He trips me out because things that I think he is going to get wrong because I think the answer I would have chosen has to be right... right??? WRONG... little booger is smarter than his momma lol!  AMAZING.... GOD YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING!  I give you all the credit ... truly a MIRACLE!  His auditory skills are just outta this world and I tell him all the time that he is smarter now than he was before lol!  He is like a sponge soaking EVERYTHING up and I am TOTALLY IMPRESSED!  Not to mention VERY PROUD!  He just might be able to get thru college and do this CSI thing after all!!!  Of course Alex thinks I am going to college with him.... hahahahaha!  My little coo coo bird!

Physically Alex is trucking right along.... no new significant change in the left arm... he is working at it though... He is a tough cookie and sooner or later it will all come back.... IN GOD'S TIME.

We go tomorrow.... PLEASE PRAY.... PRAY AND PRAY AGAIN.... hoping that all looks good ... no significant scar tissue build up and an ample airway that the dang trach can finally come out!  PLEASE LORD LET IT BE TIME FOR THIS THING TO COME OUT!!  11:15 is our appointment... I already have it set in my mind that he will need another operation.... don't wanna get my hopes up like the past 3 times I thought it was coming out, lol.  This way if they say... all looks good, then it's only good news right?  If I'm already expecting the worse then we have no where to go but up this time!

We went to the James Otto concert Friday night with VIP tickets thanks to GATOR COUNTRY 99.9 and Eden Kendall..... Alex had his own private meet and greet with James Otto and some super hot chicks BOMBSHELL.  You know Alex got them with his whole kiss my cheek and then I will surprise you with a kiss on the lips routine...hahahahahaha. HE GOT THE GIRLS GOOD and they were cracking up! Ok I have been trying to download and get them on here... it's now 12:15am... gotta be up early for our doctor appt and therapy... then school...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!  It will all be worth it in the end... I keep telling myself I can do this... I can do ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHICH STRENGTHEN ME!  The days go by fast... the weeks come and go.... I can't believe it's already October!!!  Who would have ever thought we would be as far as we are today.... CERTAINLY NOT ME!  I feel like I have lost almost a whole year of my time.... but I am very very thankful that Alex has been here with me every step of the way... the good and the bad... the laughter and the tears..... THANK YOU GOD FOR ONE MORE DAY WITH MY HANDSOME BOY!


Signing off... quick shout out to the newlyweds... Brittany and Tyler.... BEAUTIFUL WEDDING... beautiful couple..... a match made in heaven.  So happy for you!  Joe and Deniece Moore be proud....you did a great job in raising a beautiful young lady.  Thank you for sharing that special day with us... soooo glad we could be a part of it!  I HAVE GREAT PICS!!!  xoxoxo

Remember..... my little prayer warriors.... I NEED YOUR PRAYERS TONIGHT/TODAY..... for that trach to be gone... once we get that thing out there will be no stopping us!  ALL DISTRACTIONS WILL BE GONE!  Stay tuned... I will let you know what happens!